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> Opinion on my relationship Please!, All opinions wanted please.
Opinion on relationship Please!
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post Dec 13, 2006 - 7:54 PM
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BlackCelicaGT94



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I say if you really like her keep with it. My bf and i have been together 2 months and im a very very jealous person and i got on his case about one of his girl friends who has been dating his friend for 3 years but she calls my boyfriend BOYFRIEND NUMBER 2 and im like UHH NO! and they both say its an inside joke and im like thats great but that inside joke didnt happen when i was around so no more of that crap. anyways my point is him and i had a rocky 3 weeks or so but things are perfect now and they got better.

I look at it this way...put up a bit of a fight for another month if you stay together great and if you dont then so what it was only a month or two of your time. ya know what i mean?


I see where shes coming from with the study partner of yours and I see where youre coming from with her ex. you both need to drop these people in ur life if you care enough about eachother.

This post has been edited by BlackCelicaGT94: Dec 13, 2006 - 7:55 PM


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post Dec 13, 2006 - 8:28 PM
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JonCars17



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QUOTE(BlackCelicaGT94 @ Dec 13, 2006 - 9:54 PM) [snapback]510231[/snapback]
I say if you really like her keep with it. My bf and i have been together 2 months and im a very very jealous person and i got on his case about one of his girl friends who has been dating his friend for 3 years but she calls my boyfriend BOYFRIEND NUMBER 2 and im like UHH NO! and they both say its an inside joke and im like thats great but that inside joke didnt happen when i was around so no more of that crap. anyways my point is him and i had a rocky 3 weeks or so but things are perfect now and they got better.

I look at it this way...put up a bit of a fight for another month if you stay together great and if you dont then so what it was only a month or two of your time. ya know what i mean?


I see where shes coming from with the study partner of yours and I see where youre coming from with her ex. you both need to drop these people in ur life if you care enough about eachother.


She won't drop him. She claims that she doesn't want him to hurt me because he has done it before (not me but someone else). I've already told her to just let him hurt me and that I want him out. It only makes this worse that I can't see her regularly. Oh and we had a argument yesterday so I went to the library to study with my friend because I felt like getting out and talking to someone, which I ended up talking about her the whole time. So she felt like going and seeing her ex. They talked and went out to dinner with her family.

Edited:
I was jealous before now I'm being pushed to be more and more jealous because of all of this ****.

This post has been edited by JonCars17: Dec 13, 2006 - 8:31 PM
post Dec 13, 2006 - 9:18 PM
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BlackCelicaGT94



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well if shes not going nto get rid of him or atleast not talk to him then drop him. Whats up with the family having him around? my mom would be like uhh u shouldnt be bringing ur ex around and going to dinner with us if you have a bf


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post Dec 13, 2006 - 9:31 PM
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Jen



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I agree with Natalie.

BUT. Here's my opinion. Girls lie. (So do boys.) But, really. Girls can "play" too. She might be with her "ex" behind your back. But she's covering it up so well that you don't know. I've done that before (I've obviously changed my ways).. but she could be doing this to you now. Or, she's only talking to her ex because she still has feelings for him.

Nonetheless, she seems very insecure as she is keeping her ex around, and gets upset/jealous when you hang out with your friend.

Knowing how upset she gets about your friend, I really think you should stop seeing her. Especially the part about talking to her at the library. I know that would make me upset. frown.gif

You drop the "friend" and she needs to drop the ex. BOTH need to happen for the relationship to work.

If it doesn't, break up. Because it will only get worse from there.


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post Dec 14, 2006 - 12:45 AM
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jgreening

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read the ladder theory. It explains this, and most other, situation(s) quite well. If you do a search for the word "ladder" in off-topic, you will find a link.


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QUOTE(lagos @ Jul 10, 2006 - 1:55 PM) [snapback]454118[/snapback]

i know your trying to do the right thing for your motor, but this is one of those times where you should just trust the guys who have had their swaps for a while and have done a ton of research into this.
post Dec 14, 2006 - 12:48 AM
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x_itchy_b_x



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get rich. build a spaceship. pimp out your spaceship. then have interstellar hotties dig your whip. bang the interstellar hotties. thats best advice i can give to you on girls.


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post Dec 14, 2006 - 12:53 AM
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Jen



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QUOTE(jgreening @ Dec 14, 2006 - 12:45 AM) [snapback]510330[/snapback]

read the ladder theory. It explains this, and most other, situation(s) quite well. If you do a search for the word "ladder" in off-topic, you will find a link.

http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html


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post Dec 14, 2006 - 3:06 AM
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gt_driFFter



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Ok, I'm starting to notice a bad trend here...

QUOTE(BlackCelicaGT94 @ Dec 13, 2006 - 9:54 PM) [snapback]510231[/snapback]

you both need to drop these people in ur life if you care enough about eachother.



QUOTE(Jen @ Dec 13, 2006 - 11:31 PM) [snapback]510268[/snapback]

I agree with Natalie.


You drop the "friend" and she needs to drop the ex. BOTH need to happen for the relationship to work.





Should his gf stop talking to her ex-bf? Of course, that's common sense and nobody can argue with that. There is NO reason for him to stop hanging out with his friend. They are friends, and have never had a history before. You guys are basically saying that a relationship can't work if either people have friends of the opposite sex.
I can see where you might think this, because I used to think the same thing before I met my current girlfriend. But now, a lot of the friends I hang out with are girls, and my girlfriend has 1 or 2 good guy friends. And on top of that, my best friend happens to be a girl. The reason why this works, is because we trust eachother and we know better than to get jealous because once it roots itself in the relationship, it only gets worse from there. My gf makes me happier than I've ever been , and there is nobody I would rather be with, than her.

If the roles were reversed, I would be telling you to stop being jealous about her guy friend, and that it is completely innappropriate for you to be seeing your ex. I have a feeling that some of the girls in this thread are going to come back saying that it's not fair that he gets to keep seeing his friend, and while his girlfriend has to cut off ties with her ex. This argument would be ridiculous and would not have any sense to it because:
a) he doesn't have, and hasn't had any type of feelings for this friend
and
b) this is not true about his gf and her ex

So basically, keep being friends with your classmate, since there is NOTHING wrong about that. The only problem lies in her jealousy that is a direct cause of guilt, or insecurity. Both of which, are things that SHE needs to get over, as that is part of growing up.

This post has been edited by gt_driFFter: Dec 14, 2006 - 3:37 AM
post Dec 14, 2006 - 3:33 AM
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CelicaBuddy

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^ well said! thumbsup.gif

Its not fair that he has to loose a friend just because his girlfriend lacks trust in him.

Trust I feel is what keeps a relationship at its healthiest. No one likes to be bogged down to who they can or cannot hang with... It has to be equal amoung the people sharing the relationship. If it goes unbalance and its not worked out... well then bye bye relationship.


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post Dec 14, 2006 - 3:51 AM
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ExSane

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Look, the whole point is she should have told her Ex that she has you. Her Ex should learn to respect her's and yours relationship. It's not the case that it's her choice who she wants to be with. The whole point is she already has chosen and it's you so he needs to stfu and back off. He needs to look at the facts which is that you and her are together already in a relationship. He is trying come in between and steal her. Also, she is insecure about the whole college friend thing. Alot of guys like to call that, "B*tch Act'n Stupid." You don't even call your college friend every freakin day like she does with her Ex. She should limit her calls with her Ex not only to NOT disrespect you but her own personal relationship with you as well. I understand that she is being "friends" with her Ex but you have to understand that Ex's don't usually make good friends becuz of everything they been through together he/she still holds onto. But it seems as if she hasn't gotten over her Ex yet and she is only using you as a rebound. And if that's the case, dump her. You don't need that crap. No one does. You ain't no baby sitter. You're better than that.

PS. This is the reason why I mostly go out with women. Not little girls.

This post has been edited by ExSane: Dec 14, 2006 - 3:53 AM


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post Dec 14, 2006 - 5:06 AM
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sinner96ST



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From my personal experience :

Girls with ex's still in their life inevitably wind up getting back with them, either one side or the other is still remotely interested in shacking up again, it's up to you to determine which one. There are exceptions to every rule, but I strongly believe that people who were in a serious relationship have a really tough time 'letting go' unless they went through a nasty divorce or a breakup.

If you've only been dating this girl a month and have had some drama, the problems will only get worse, not better. I'd run away screaming and go find some nice, unattached girl, who likes to give BJ's and races Supras or something.
post Dec 14, 2006 - 5:09 AM
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sinner96ST



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haha, i just found this on the ladder system :
QUOTE

IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS

Many women want to argue this point and say things like " I have lots of guy friends." Maybe. There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:

The guy is gay
The guy does not find you attractive.
The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder


I remember there being a thread about this and people were like DURR NO I HAVE PLENTY OF FRIENDS WHO ARE GIRLS and blah blah blah, I knew I was right. The above is 100% true. Thank you for shopping at OT.
post Dec 14, 2006 - 6:02 AM
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JonCars17



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QUOTE(ExSane @ Dec 14, 2006 - 5:51 AM) [snapback]510366[/snapback]
Look, the whole point is she should have told her Ex that she has you. Her Ex should learn to respect her's and yours relationship. It's not the case that it's her choice who she wants to be with. The whole point is she already has chosen and it's you so he needs to stfu and back off. He needs to look at the facts which is that you and her are together already in a relationship. He is trying come in between and steal her. Also, she is insecure about the whole college friend thing. Alot of guys like to call that, "B*tch Act'n Stupid." You don't even call your college friend every freakin day like she does with her Ex. She should limit her calls with her Ex not only to NOT disrespect you but her own personal relationship with you as well. I understand that she is being "friends" with her Ex but you have to understand that Ex's don't usually make good friends becuz of everything they been through together he/she still holds onto. But it seems as if she hasn't gotten over her Ex yet and she is only using you as a rebound. And if that's the case, dump her. You don't need that crap. No one does. You ain't no baby sitter. You're better than that.

PS. This is the reason why I mostly go out with women. Not little girls.


She doesn't call him everyday. Only that once as far as I know. He calls her because he still loves her. I don't even call my friend unless I need class information. She calls me when she needs class information and only when she needs class information.

This post has been edited by JonCars17: Dec 14, 2006 - 6:16 AM
post Dec 14, 2006 - 9:05 AM
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Glitch001

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go after the other girl, when you ask a girl not to do something they will. its a defiance who knows, let her ruin a good thing. better than being cheated on by a dumb whore in my opinion. (not calling you or her a dumb whore, just those who cheat) so wary of advice from certain people, as they have cheated and manipulated people in the past. My advice, dump her, women are a dime a dozen dude, why stress over drama shes offering. If you said i dont like this, and she keeps doing it, she wouldnt do it. Its because she cant let go and is weak and sooner or later in a time of remorse when maybe your not around, she'll run to him.

After people have sex you really cant have a relationship that can lower itself down, so if she slept with this ex, you can bet thats what he wants back and she is looking to reestablish her feelings without the work. Easy trade off, just makes her a whore if she does that. Just ask some girls you know (or from this site) if they have ever cheated, it will kinda sicken you in their reasoning. but ya..

Short answer: dump her, its better than being cheated on.
post Dec 14, 2006 - 9:18 AM
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I am disagreeing with alot of what you all are saying (mostly Jen, Natalie). Your going out with someone for one month and your going to tell them to stop talking to some of their friends? Hows is that remotely a good start to a relationship, by telling them what to do and who they can hang out with? Nobody likes being told what to do especially from somoene they just met. If your gf has known her ex for a long time, you can't expect her to just stop talking to him. Certain things must change like the two of them going out alone and chillin but talking to them? And I'm sure you dont want her to tell you that you cannot talk to this person or that person because they are jealous.

My g/f talks to a couple of her ex's and I do to. Am I thrilled with it? Certainly not but I trust her so I dont worry about it. They are ex bf's for a reason, they didnt work out. Not allowing your sig. other to have friends of the opposite sex is ridiculous. Certain rules apply to ex's but thats it. If you dont trust your s.o. theres no relationship. Long distance relationships but a very heavy strain on this and thats why alot do not work.

Bottom line: you do not NEED her to stop talking to her ex and you do not NEED to stop talking to females because this one study partner isnt where it will end. What you NEED to do is tell her if she's not telling the people who she should be telling about your relationship, she's out.


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post Dec 14, 2006 - 9:20 AM
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Mynzeyes



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If you are asking for advice on your relationship on a Celica message board, then that should be your answer right there.


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post Dec 14, 2006 - 9:31 AM
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JonCars17



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QUOTE(Supersprynt @ Dec 14, 2006 - 9:18 AM) [snapback]510392[/snapback]
I am disagreeing with alot of what you all are saying (mostly Jen, Natalie). Your going out with someone for one month and your going to tell them to stop talking to some of their friends? Hows is that remotely a good start to a relationship, by telling them what to do and who they can hang out with? Nobody likes being told what to do especially from somoene they just met. If your gf has known her ex for a long time, you can't expect her to just stop talking to him. Certain things must change like the two of them going out alone and chillin but talking to them? And I'm sure you dont want her to tell you that you cannot talk to this person or that person because they are jealous.

My g/f talks to a couple of her ex's and I do to. Am I thrilled with it? Certainly not but I trust her so I dont worry about it. They are ex bf's for a reason, they didnt work out. Not allowing your sig. other to have friends of the opposite sex is ridiculous. Certain rules apply to ex's but thats it. If you dont trust your s.o. theres no relationship. Long distance relationships but a very heavy strain on this and thats why alot do not work.

Bottom line: you do not NEED her to stop talking to her ex and you do not NEED to stop talking to females because this one study partner isnt where it will end. What you NEED to do is tell her if she's not telling the people who she should be telling about your relationship, she's out.


I don't really want her to stop talking to him because it is not my place to say.. yet. I just mainly want him to know about her and I as a couple.

QUOTE(Mynzeyes @ Dec 14, 2006 - 9:20 AM) [snapback]510393[/snapback]
If you are asking for advice on your relationship on a Celica message board, then that should be your answer right there.


I'm not asking for advice. I'm asking for opinions. Regardless what everyone here says I will end up making my own decision.

This post has been edited by JonCars17: Dec 14, 2006 - 9:41 AM
post Dec 14, 2006 - 9:55 AM
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Negative



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QUOTE(JonCars17 @ Dec 14, 2006 - 1:28 AM) [snapback]510243[/snapback]

Oh and we had a argument yesterday so I went to the library to study with my friend because I felt like getting out and talking to someone, which I ended up talking about her the whole time. So she felt like going and seeing her ex. They talked and went out to dinner with her family.


Woah are you f*ckin serious? Now I see why you date girls so much younger than you. You still have the high school drama thing down. Both of you were definetly wrong on that one. Plus regardless of what you say your reasonings are, you basically just used your college friend as a weapon against your girl

QUOTE(Mynzeyes @ Dec 14, 2006 - 2:20 PM) [snapback]510393[/snapback]

If you are asking for advice on your relationship on a Celica message board, then that should be your answer right there.


X10

My advice: Dump this girl nicely and then be alone for a while, grow up some and then start dating girls who are at least of legal age.


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post Dec 14, 2006 - 10:04 AM
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JonCars17



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if you must know, she is the legal age here. So shut up before you feel stupid.

I'm sorry I don't have many friends in this small hick town. Most of my friends have jobs and work during the day.

So I guess I'll just stay home and cry about every damn thing. < - sarcastic
post Dec 14, 2006 - 10:15 AM
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Negative



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I don't feel stupid at all. As if a lame comment like that could induce any feelings of stupidity in myself? Whatever - you asked for opinions and you got plenty. You gotta admit that was pretty childish of you to have an arguement and then run to the one person she seems to be having a problem with the most. Further it's pretty childish to be airing yours and her personal problems on a CELICA website. Off topic or no.
Don't they make places like MySpace for this sort of drama?
BTW - I noticed you didn't shoot off at the mouth on Mynzeyez comment. Is that because he is a moderator and you fear the repurcussions?

This post has been edited by Negative: Dec 14, 2006 - 10:17 AM


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