Breakups Options

[BlackCelicaGT94]

How do you handle a break up? This was my first real relationship. It was still a short one - only 4 months and I broke it off cuz it was coming anyways and id rather be the one to do it then sit there and be told im being dumped. Im saddened but also glad that i wont have to worry about why he seems distant and whos calling him and what not. I have to see him tonight to give him his stuff back. Im thinking short and to the point. No drawing it out and talking about what happened.


He text me saying he really didnt want this to happen and he cares for me but he needs to become a better man before he can be in a relationship and to that I said thats fine. I hope you figure things out and find someone at the time for you. And he got mad and said ya know what ill just talk to you later. and im like why are you geting upset and he said cuz its not easy for him and he didnt want this to happen. so idk if hes upset or upset that im not crying to him about it.

Idk what to do. I wanna cry but i dont. I wanna be strong cuz im sure ill have worst breakups down the road. And i keep thinking this wasnt a bad breakup. it coulda been worst. he coulda cheated or something.

Peoples input on how to just not think about a breakup would be helpful. I warned him that i cant be friends with him..atleast not right now. I also erased him off my myspace. took down the pics of us and what not. I took down the pics in my room. I dont wanna throw them away cuz what if we become friends at some point. Ya never know.

Any suggestions (in a nice manner) would be greatly appreciated

[6gcSTVT]

When you told him "I hope you figure things out and find someone at the time for you" is like telling him you hope he meets some other girl soon and his mind is def still on you at the moment. Relationships can suck but then again they can be amazing. basically keep it short, give him his stuff and tell him to have a good night. Only time will help you get over him...getting involved with any other guy right now is way to soon and its a rebound basically... If you are never completely over someone it's easy to fall for someone else to make you "forget" someone, so take it easy and just try to live your life before your "ex" and everything will work out. Good luck

[cjh4l22]

haha this is ironic. i kinda just went through this, only its different. but lemme say if he feels anything like i did... do him a favor don't erase him outta your life right away. ie- don't remove him from everything ASAP do it kinda slowly... it just seems nicer. even if u move on. just my two cents worth. never know i guess. later.

[giang723]

damn sorry to hear about that, hope u feel better soon, that's about all i can say

[manphibian]

sorry to hear that, guess he didn't surprise you on v-day then

You'll feel better pretty soon. It'll be for the best in the long run for sure

[Slick]

I think you handled it like a mature and experienced woman. Most people don't handle it that well the first time. I know i didn't. Like everyone else said, take it easy. There's no need to forget him, just remember the experience. Don't hate him either. There will be other people who will deserve your hate in the future.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

well i saw him last night and we swapped our stuff. he kept saying he really didnt wanna do it. Which i hate to hear cuz then its like "then why are we doing this?"

but his friend told me last night that he was really bummed out and that he was taking it worst he thought than I was.

hearing that makes me wanna write him Monday and be like Are we sure we really wanna stay broken up. but i better not write him saying that.

im bummed but im not. tonight im going out to a club so hopefully ill have an ok night.

[jason]

dont rebound.. will make you look bad, and dont do stuff to make him jealous, be mature about it, let him ruin his ego on his own. its hard losing a part of your life, but trust me... there are ALOT of tin cans in the dump. aka im sure someday you'll find someone much better, if your not at least 90% happy with someone or cant tolerate/understand them 100% its never gonna work. my advice, dont be a whore, dont rebound because its only a temporary fix, if ya rebound, your gonna drag someone along hurt them, and in the end realize you f'd up. take him outta ur life slowly like they said above, but you gatta stick to ur guns, if you have come this far to the point were you wanna break it off, dont double guess yourself. if your not 25 or older and you have more than 5 friends im sure you will be juuuust fine =) - for the next time around... find a REALLY sweet and nice guy, find someone who makes you laugh and is easy going, yet cares & has alot of concern for you - i dunno how you guys stood with one another, or what type of person you are, but find someone who makes you feel good and also makes you feel good - fyi the honeymoon stage norm lasts 3-4 months

[Digndoug]

In all honesty, I think you did what you needed. All relationships have there ups and downs, 2 people have to be devoted to keep a healthy relationship. Also, you are young, you need to figure out what you want, in life a relationship and a guy/man what ever.

Just keep friends around you, dont do anything stupid like a rebond or anything, as well dont competly cut him out of ur life. but keep any talking very short and brief.

I personally have wanted to break up with my girl many of times. Im stil with her, we have been togeather for a little over a year. I get to the point i want to, I then space my self from her, and basicly ride it out. Its not the best thing to do, but i dont want to end a relationship and regret it. But the other thing is, im only making it harder on myself if we were to...

I myself, want a break.. but, I have never seen a "break" work well. For my situation, its not that i want someone else, or what to go sleep with others, i just need my space to get my life stright. But I also am sure if i were to take a break, somthing would most likly happen for us not to get back togeather.

One of the biggist problems with relationships is spending to much time togeather. you need to have your space from the other. I know thats why my relationship has been going down hill, I dont get my space.

Ok , il end ranting, im not even sure if i helped or even awsnerd anything

[BlackCelicaGT94]

^ thats why we broke. cuz he needed to get his life straight. hes 23 and lives at home, has no car of his own and is in debt and has nothign to show for it. he said he wants to become a better man before being in a relationship. makes sense. idk. hearing from his friends that hes taking this hard is bitter sweet. im glad to hear hes probably more upset than me but also it sucks cuz it makes me wanna talk to him and be like lets just get back together.

none of my friends, family or coworkers really liked him tho cuz he was 23 and isnt doing my much for himself. they want me with someone better.

My friend wants me to go to a club tonight but ive never really liked clubs and im not sure if im ready to go out and be around lots of people.

You guys keep saying dont cut him outta my life but it seems easier to just do that. talking to him would just lead me to wanting to talk about our relationship and i dont wanna do that. I told him that the line is always open and he can make the contact to talk to me and I will talk to him but I probably cant and wont go outta my way to talk to him.

[brianforster]

i googled how to get over your first love, hahahah.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

so i need input

he wrote me a message saying he found the shirt I wanted back and that he forgot to give me my ipod/tape car connector and that he would send it o me then put a sad face and said ill talk to you later or something.

what do i think of that? i wrote back asking what the sad face was for and that i hoped he was doing ok. and i told him he could send it or take the ferry and bring it back to me.

to hear from his friends that he says hes taking it worse than me and then get a message it seems like maybe hes not sure we shoulda broke up too or something and is trying to keep in contact. idk

[cjh4l22]

sounds pretty typical. me and my ex, still a decently good friend of mine as of now, have been going through pretty much the same stuff. difference is... we're quite a bit younger (19&18) and i have a feeling part of it is because she doesn't wanna regret me later and wants the opportunity to date other guys before we get anymore serious than we already were. anywho... sorry to get sidetracked, but it sounds like he def. didn't feel it was necessary to end it but, at the same time IMHO, i think he might be smart and make use of this time to upgrade his life... maybe he will, maybe he won't. At the same time, just remember.. everything happens for a reason. And if your a believer as I am... god has a plan for everyone. Yea i know that doesn't sound so helpful but i'm trying to use it to keep my spirits up. not working, but yea. lol best of luck.

[Consynx]

chin up!