Advice Options

[dustin15brown]

Hey everyone.... It's been a while since I've needed realtionship advice but here I am again. Lately with school pressure, family pressure, and life pressures i've become an unhappy person. I have had to assume a lot of fatherly roles in my family lately because my dad works the night shift and my lilttle brother *15* has become a rebel. I no longer do things that high schoolers do for fun, all I do is business stuff for my family, act like a dad, and fight with my girlfriend. We're closing in on one year yet I find myself the least happy..... We fight and bicker for what seems to me to be every night. We only see each other once a week, and it's rough. Her parents are strict, and that doesn't help. I figured things would settle down, but now with my last year of basketball approaching, I only think it can get worse.. I'm the happiest guy alive when I'm with her because nothing else matters... Yet through the week we only fight and it seems like I'm too busy and stressed out to talk to her. I am not sure what to do... I do love her very much, but at the same time I will not allow myself to continue being unhappy..... Honestly working with a few projects here and there with the Celica is the only thing that keeps me sane..... Please don't reply with "the celi is all you need or dumb responses like that... I'm looking for someone with some genuine insight and advice. Thanks guys and gals

[celicagurl152003]

well you said right in your statements "I'm the happiest guy alive when I'm with her because nothing else matters" and "I do love her very much." You said you these things so apparently your happy with her but that is what you think is bothing you. Personally I don't think your relationship with her is the problem, I think it's the stress and new responsibilities that are getting to you. You have your brother, basketball, school, and everyday life that is on your mind right now and the stress has nowhere to go when you don't vent. Your girlfriend is there to help when you get like this, and if you explain to her what is going on and why things are stressing you out maybe she'll be able to understand more and you wont fight......also another thing, have you taken into consideration that maybe you have hurt her feelings by not being open with her. I know that when im in a relationship i wanna know whats bothering my man.....that's what im here for, somebuddy for him to vent on and listen...maybe she just wants to do that for you but it seems to me you keep closeing that door for her to help. Try talking to her...open up, explain the things going on in your life, if you haven't had problems until all this stress came into play it's not the relationship.....all good relationships have hard times but relationships require work on both sides, and good communication. Try talking, I think it will help emensly (sp). I think once you open up and talk to her (and don't make excuses, make time to talk) you will be much happier, and she will too.

hope that helped, good luck

~Christina

[Tweek]

One sunny day after another is'nt as good as that one sunny day after it's been raining for a week.

Speaking of sun, its always sunny in florida. Take a road trip to get your mind of things and grab some rims (free if you pick em up).

[tin_foil]

I agree with a lot of what celicagurl said. Some people might just say, "you're not happy, so get out of the relationship." I'd say that too maybe, if you hadn't said, "I'm the happiest guy alive when I'm with her because nothing else matters." But that shows that you probably really love her, but are really just stressed with other things in your life. Realize that when your stressed, you might not even notice it(or maybe you do), but it really affects how you act and talk. And when two people are close to eachother, their feelings and emotions really affect one another. You being stressed probably just stresses her out, too. I have some personal experience in this matter. I know that sometimes you just want to vent, and someone your close to is the best person to do that on, but if you can TRY to find someone else(probably be best if it was a guy) to vent your frusterations on, it would be a lot easier on your girl friend. A good guy friend will listen to you, and maybe give you advice, but won't feel obligated to take your stress upon themselves like a girl who really loves you does. Like celicagurl said, tell her all this, and try and spend as much time as you can with her and just enjoy yourself and promise not to talk about your life problems. I'd also like to suggest one more thing. Read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I know its sounds kinda stupid, and like a marrage counceling book, but it's really awesome, and I guarantee it will, really, really help.

One last thing, I don't know if your a religious man, but praying, even just out of frusteration, will always make you feel better. Thats another guarantee

I really hope it all works out dude.

[celicaST]

wow life is fun aint it? im serious. my only advice is to learn how to deal with the stress you have. afterall stress to one person is fun to another, its all how you look at it. im sure you know, but attitude is everything. this sounds stupid, but when im in a bad mood or feeling stressed out i just force myself to smile and love it, try it. life is all about having fun, so have fun with all the stuff your doing. if you feel like your missing out on "high school" life then you are only missing out in your own mind. for example, being a father figure to your younger brother is a great learning experience that most of us didnt be able to do. plus hs is nothing compared to college . i know you said youve been with your gf for about a year, but i am against talking about the relationship as said above, im a firm believer that actions are more important than anything that can be said. the only problem that i cant offer advide on, and i had to deal with to, is the gf's strict parents just remember that you alone control your happiness

[dustin15brown]

She's aware of most everything though... should taht matter? I guess everyone thinks it's a phase, but i'm not positive, but everything I said is true, so i'm confused about myself.. weird

[celicagurl152003]

so she knows about what's been going on and the stress you've been under?

[dustin15brown]

yeah, and we still fight

[ILuvMyCelica95]

Relationships are hard, I think you two should sit down and try to talk, she needs to understand the amount of stress you are under. The statement that everyone has seen as important["I'm the happiest guy alive when I'm with her because nothing else matters."] is very valid. If you feel that way around her and you love her that much it’s not work breaking up over. If you do it will in all likelihood cause more stress for you because you will have to deal with the fact that you are hurt and she it hurt.