Do people really like chuck norris? Options

[bloodrain]

I saw in the 'happy birthday amy' thread a cake with chuck norris, and i was like wtf, who really likes him, so i want to take a poll and see if its just me who thinks hes a wanna be poser of a white bruce lee. So my question is, do you like chuck norris.

[bigal004321]

every time you masterbate chuck norris punches a mexican baby in the face!

chuck norris sleeps with the light on not because he is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of chuck norris!

chuck norris is currently suiing NBC claiming that law and order were the names of his left and right leg!

Bigal

This post has been edited by bigal004321: May 1, 2006 - 6:51 PM

[x_itchy_b_x]

i hope chuck norris doesnt see what youve said about him being a wannabe because he will find you and ******* kick your ***. haha jk

[Boss-Celica]

Were not worthy

[LewFX]

chuck went to my college!

[thaimiishoe]

there's news that chuck norris's tears may cure cancer...
only problem is that chuck norris never crys.

[zachattack15]

This was so like two months ago. No but really try being on a college baseball team. I've heard every Chuck Norris joke there is. My teamates printed out atleast 12 pages of them. Its posted in the club house haha.

This post has been edited by zachattack15: May 1, 2006 - 7:16 PM

[CelicaBuddy]

who's chuck norris?

[Mynzeyes]

who's chuck norris?

jk Brina. we all <3 you.

[Supersprynt]

This is Chuck Norris


And whooooooooo can name that movie!

[Boss-Celica]

Terminator 2, lmao

[3rdgen3s95]

Here is a poll for you...who is more washed up...Chuck Norris, or Steven Segal???

[celicurr]

haha I love the novelty of it...

[celi_gt_racer]

segal's more washed up .... bruce lee is god... and chuck norris is mediocre - end of story

[Mynzeyes]

segal's more washed up .... bruce lee is god... and chuck norris is mediocre - end of story

Chuck Norris said that your mom was mediocre.

[Supersprynt]

That joke was mediocre.

[fastgt]

this thread is mediocre

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

Here is a poll for you...who is more washed up...Chuck Norris, or Steven Segal???

How can you compare Chuck Norris to Steven Segal? Segal has no tallent. Norris is not the best acter, that's a given. But the guy is in great shape and is great at martial arts. This big craze about him has kind of discreditted him. It's like saying Gourge Forman doesn't know how to do anything but sell those little grills. He was and probably still is a great boxer, the same as Norris with martial arts.

[Supersprynt]

Gourge...as in, George?

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

Gourge...as in, George?

Tomato, Tomotto.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

I love chuck norris - he reminds me of my dad! kinda look a like, both can kick some serious butt, same age

[ILuvMyCelica95]

i put no, cause hes ugly. idontevencare about Chuck Norris.

[Boss-Celica]

i put no, cause hes ugly. idontevencare about Chuck Norris.

[ILuvMyCelica95]

sorry!

[Boss-Celica]

sorry!

[madmods]

Chuck is cool, and just think about this fact. He fought Bruce Lee in one of Bruce's movies. That was so long ago. He walks the walk.

This post has been edited by madmods: May 3, 2006 - 12:19 AM

[desertwolf300]

These are a ton of one-liners, funny IMO, if you know anything about Chuck Norris.
************

When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.

Chuck Norris uses redhot lava to moisturize his skin.

Chuck Norris invented the apple.

Chuck Norris Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.

Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.

Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. You have virtually
no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and
overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the
face with a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up.

Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.

If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!

Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.

Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a
stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.

Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.

P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.

Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.

Chuck Norris' paradise is war.

Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.

Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.

Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.

Chuck Norris can kick start a car.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.

Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.

Chuck Norris does not dance. He roundhouse kicks to the beat.

Chuck Norris can MAKE water run uphill.

Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.

The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth... then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit.

Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap.

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.

The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.

Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of Urban Legends, he is an Urban Legend.

Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.

On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.

See spot. See spot run. See spot get round house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.

Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.

Chuck Norris sneezes electricity.

Chuck Norris performs colonoscopies on himself.

If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP, ripped into pieces.

Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.

You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.

Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.


Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck
Norris killed that given day.

Chuck norris invented the corndog.

The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain. Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now. Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.

Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.

Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Chuck Norris belives the hype.

Chuck Norris CAN in fact stop the beat.

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.

When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.

Chuck Norris speaks in all caps.

Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony
Express have combined for the last 146 years.

Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.

Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse.

When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.

Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.

Chuck Norris can dribble a football.

Chuck Norris’ IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight

Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the wooshing
sound of a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.

Chuck Norris had his tonsels removed with a chainsaw.

Chuck Norris digs graves with a shoe horn.

[CelicaBuddy]

^^^

LOL I dont know the whole chuck norris thing but some of those are halarious!

[bloodrain]

haha i love those jokes, but chuck norris just seems... fake to me...

[dustin15brown]

you guys may not find this funny, but today during my AP Calculus Exam, one of the students didn't know the answer to a question so he wrote. " This question is rigged, Chuck Norris said that there is no answer" I laughed

[celicurr]

it's funny because it's nothing he intentionally started, he had nothing to do with it...

[Chanh55]

These are the best ones, found here: http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

1. Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
2. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
3. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
5. There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
6. Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
7. The leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
8. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
9. Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
10. Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

[Boss-Celica]

What is Chuck Norris had a Celica, imagine how badass it would be.

[bloodrain]

What is Chuck Norris had a Celica, imagine how badass it would be.

Chuck Norris does not drive, he round house kicks everywhere.

(haha made that one up, damn im good)

[KAOS]

When Chuck Norris jumps in the water he doesn't get all wet, the water gets all Chuck Norris.

Hahaha

[ZacMan1987]

The best part of waking up isn't Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.


Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Mother Teresa all show up at the pearly gates.
God sits at His judgement seat, and turns to each one in turn and asks why they should be admitted to heaven.
Mr. T says "Look God, I've been fighting injustice and evil all my life."
God lets him in.
Mother Teresa says "It is by grace that we are saved." God lets her in.
Chuck Norris says "I have no idea why you should be asking me, oh and by the way, get out of my seat."

[Jeremy1210]

Chuck norris was an 80's Icon. He got his acting start from all the martial arts stuff he did. How many of you have seen all his 80's movie's based on Vietnam? They look cheesy now, but they were good back then. Gratned Walker Texas Ranger may have lasted a few years too long, but hey its chuck and hes awesome. He's the white bruce lee

[bloodrain]

When Chuck Norris jumps in the water he doesn't get all wet, the water gets all Chuck Norris.

Hahaha

you said it wrong :-(

When Chuck falls in water, he doesnt get wet, the water gets Chuck