As if I really needed more BS, From my ex... Options

[Yota]

So you may have read about my issues with my ex in the "I decided" thread started by Chucho.

Well, she called me and wanted to start everything over because she believes that he and I will end up together in the end and we just need some time to straighten things out. According to her, we should start completely over and be friends for a while and progress as things got better. Now, in order to understand this situation, you need to know that I have a real soft heart when it comes to women I care for, like, love and am in love with. I agreed that her and I might be able to have something still in our relationship, and would need to start over from scratch. But the first things she needs to do is:
1. Grow Up. We can't be together if we're just going to break up over arguments (like we had been notorious for)
2. She needs to mature. If she is serious about this, no more BS with other guys and trying to use them to persuade me of something
3. Put forth effort in order to receive benefits from this relationship. She needs to be able to comfort me when I need to be comforted, just like I have to when she needs the comfort.

So everything was going ok. We wouldn't really talk much, but I guess that can be expected when so much has just happened between us. One day, she called me and asked if I thought this was really going to work. And I told her that it stands no chance if she won't return my phone calls. So she agrees that it would help, but I had to realize that she had been really busy the last couple of days and didn't have time to have a long conversation. I was alright with that, and told her that we need to talk more, even if it is just a phone call saying "hi, how are you?" type of stuff.

So the last 2 days or so went really well. We talked a bunch, had a great conversation about life and our careers we're persuing and all of this other stuff. Today I even called her, and she seemed relieved about me calling her because she was tired and wanted someone to talk to to keep her relaxed (which I am very good at doing).

She ends up telling me that she is going out to the bars with this kid she knew from high school and used to work with. She was telling me that I should expect a drunk dial from her. I don't usually like getting those types of calls from her because I get worried that something bad might happen to her. But her call does come through, and yes she was drunk. But she was asking how my night was going and hoping that I was having a good night as well and all of this other stuff. She also told me she would call me when she left that bar (which I perceived to be a good sign, meaning she wanted to keep talking to me because she misses me or something)

So like a half hour later I get this phone call. And its her. She tells me that she needs to tell me something. She tells me that next weekend she is going down to the University of Illinois for the weekend and she's going to meet up with this kid that she really likes alot. She is telling me this because she thinks I deserve to know because she plans on dating him. But she still thinks we'll end up together.

I get upset about it because I dont think either of us should date someone new if we're trying to resalvage our relationship of 3 years. She then goes on to tell me that she thinks this kid is everything she's been looking for and has more qualities than I do...Yet she still think she will end up with me. (Yes, she told me that this kid is basically better than me but she thinks we'll end up together). I get irate over this and tell her its not gonna happen between us if this is how she feels about him. I also tell her that I can't be just friends with a girl that I am in love with and if we're not going to work things out, I can't ever talk to her again. I tell her this because I know my heart will just ache everytime I see/talk to her. The bad part, is that she is willing to sacrifice our 3 year history and our future for a guy she's no more than talked to over the internet for. So I guess as of now, the girl I've been head over heels for has broken my heart for the 3rd time in 2 weeks and I won't ever talk to her again.

The even worse part about this all is THIS AFTERNOON we were talking and we had planned to go out to dinner next saturday and catch up and physically see each other for the first time in a month.

For christmas, I bought her a ring. She wanted a ring that was platinum, silver, or white gold with sapphires in it. I purposely bought her a sapphire ring with yellow gold. She also has always wanted a Toyota Supra. So I bought her a japanese model of a Supra and built it and painted it just like she'd want it. And I made her this wooden box. Now, the ring went in the box, the Supra sat over the ring and the box was locked. The key to the lock had a toyota emblem painted on it. When I gave her the key, I told her I bought her a supra. Then I gave her the box to open where she saw the supra. She picked up the car and noticed the yellow gold ring. I told her that the ring symbolizes the problems in our relationship. But if we love each and are dedicated to each other, together we can come up with the happiness and everlasting love we both are looking for. And from there, we can take back the yellow gold ring and together pick out the one she really wants that makes her happy.

She still has the yellow gold ring and Saturday we had planned to swap rings together and pick out the one she really wants.

So now you can imagine how hurt I am because I thought we were taking some huge steps in the right directions with our own relationship if we were both willing to get this ring situated and go out to dinner. But not even 6 hour later and her drunk off her ass, she tells me there is another guy out there that she would rather be with instead of me...

I hate my life...

Any advice from ya'll?

[Yota]

Akimbo,

did you just break up with someone?



Its pushing three weeks now that I've been broken up with her. How much more time will I freaking need????

The rest of you guys,

This is whats happened since I started this thread.

She is "torn" between whether to date this guy, or try to work it out with me because she "see herself ending up with me in the end." But she and this guy have talked about dating. He really wants to. But she isn't sure because they'd be starting a relationship with a 4 hour distance away from each other, she doesn't know if it will work out after they have physically met each other (thats right folks...she is talking about dating a guy who is supposedly a wonderful person but hasn't ever seen him), and would put a damper on her social life back at school.

Her exact words to all of this were "I want to end up with you, but I don't know why I like him so much"

She also told me I'm the most important person in her life. If that was the case, why on earth would she have to consider ANYTHING?!?!

Ok, I understand that if her and I were going to be together for the rest of our lives, it would be a little nervewracking to admit that without dating anyone else. So I can see where dating other people to prove that we're right for each other would make sense. So I don't really know what to think? And I know you guys are just going to tell me to let her go..But it really isn't that easy for me to do. I can't just pretend these last 3 years never existed. and like I am the most important person in her life, she is the most important in mine too.


Oh, and did I tell you that she got jealous when I told her about this girls number I got? Why would she be jealous if she's basically got a new boyfriend?

This post has been edited by Yota: Feb 7, 2005 - 12:46 AM