New rules at work, wtf? |
New rules at work, wtf? |
Mar 11, 2005 - 4:30 PM |
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Enthusiast Joined Sep 28, '03 From Bloomington, IN Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%) |
So I get to work and I have this memo waiting on me. This is crap
Dress Code ...It is advised that you come to work dressed accordingly to your salary. ...If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. ..If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore do not need a raise. ...If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore do not need a raise. Sick Days Sick In Bed We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday. Toilet Use Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of the 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category." Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy! Lunch Break ...Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. ...Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. ...Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a slim fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere. Quit Your Complaining!!! Your Management. -------------------- NASA/SCCA RX-7....currently under the knife
92 Civic hatch B16 - Sold 10th anniv RX-7 - RIP The Slow Celica - Sold...and then crushed crushed due to street racing. Quote from Seinfeild: George's Boss reading a magazine: "People magazine's most beautiful people. Oh and a Celica...nothin wrong with that!" |
Mar 11, 2005 - 6:58 PM |
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Enthusiast Joined Aug 21, '04 From New York City Currently Offline Reputation: 0 (0%) |
LMAOZ... that's mad funny... 3 mins... damn... what if it takes time to get it out???? and pics taken showing your painful expression lol... i'm just being sick lol.
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