Help! Serious Electrical Problems!, The weirdest thing I've ever seen... Options

[Coomer]

I'm so confused and scared right now...I can't figure out for the life of me what's going on with my car.

It started with me trying to start it, and only the fans turning on. I checked the fuses and none were blown, so I checked the switched wire at the starter, and it was giving me no voltage.

I then unplugged the battery and went inside to take a break. When I came back out and plugged the battery back in, I noticed that the trunk light didn't turn on. I looked at the dash and the door open light wasn't on either. I tried turning on the parking lights and they didn't turn on. I tried the horn and it didn't work. Basically, nothing on the car works.

This is where it gets confusing. I've got a fuse 6" from the battery, and it's in good shape. Figuring I'd popped some other fuse, I checked all of them in the dash and under the hood, and they were all good.

I pulled the main 50 amp fuse under the hood and tested voltage on the hot side. Voltage started at around 10 volts and over a couple seconds rose to 12.4 volts and held there.

I then tried the same thing for the horn fuse under the hood, and it started at about 8 volts before rising to 12.4 and staying there.

At this point I disconnected the negative cable and came inside. Someone suggested testing voltage between the terminals and the clamps with the headlights on to test for a bad battery connection, but this yielded no voltage. At the battery terminals, I'm getting 12.4 volts. At the battery's fuse and a bolt in my trunk, I'm also getting 12.4 volts.

At this point, I'm so confused. I've never seen anything this weird in my life. Anyone have any ideas?

[Akimbo]

last time i had problems it was neither the battery or the alternator, but it was the charging fuse. Maybe that'll help people, cuz we overlooked it.