my relationship is over, update from last thread Options

[lagos]

can somone please explain girls to me?

ive been friends and romantic with this girl Jen for the past ten years. you can kind of think of it as a very open relationship. even if i had a girlfriend at the time, i would never fall in love with the new girl because i knew i loved jen more then anything. i also notice that jens boyfriends never made it to the love stage either and all her realationships with other guys were very short. my theory is that she never fell love with anyone she dated, because she would share all her thoughts and feelsing with me and i would do the same with her.

i considered jen my soul mate and i think she felt the same way about me. we had some amazing memories together that will last me and her for the rest of our lives.

the past few weeks ive been trying to play it cool and just get over it while still being friends. i went to visit her at work (bar) and to hang out with some freinds last week. when i was going home, she walked me outside and had that total, school girl in love look on her face, and i could tell she wanted me to kiss her (she later confirmend that was true). she asked me to come over and watch a movie with her. i told her that aint going to happen and i didnt give into her looks either.

so a few days go by and we ended up having the big talk about our realationship. we had this type of talk meny times over the years, but his by far was the most honest. i basically told her that we are ****ing up our lives and that we need to either **** or get off the pot. i told her how much i loved her and how great we could be together. she told me how she donst want to loose me. so i basically told her, if you dont go out with me, then our relationship will change in a big way. i will no longer play the emotional and menal role of your boyfriend.

she said she had a lot to think about and we decided to continue the conversation the next day.

so next day rolls around and she said she thought about us the whole day. the first thing out of her mouth was, if i had to go out with you, i would have to break up with jamie (someguy she met like a month ago). she said, i dont want to feel like i missed out on anything with him. ....what the Fk!!!! ten years with this girl and she is worried about what she might miss out on with a guy she met a month ago!!!

this was the frist time that she ever put another guy over me. the converation ended with me saying " good luck with jamie, i hope you know him for ten years too. i never want to see you or speak to you again".


can somone explain to me, how a girl can totally be into you, say you are the greatest guy she met, share great memories with you that she admits are close to her heart, and never fall in love with you? how can girls love a guy and not be in love with him? to us guys its all one thing.


anyway, this is problaby more info then i want to share with people, but i just got done talking to her and it really helps to try to understand things by wrinting it out.

[urbandork]

well my g/f is doing good. Ive spent little over a grand on her in les then a years time.

my advice is just focus on the car.

lol yes saddly my g/f is my car


But on the serious note. (im a blunt person) She, like most ppl, are confused and dont really have a good idea on what they want. Personally ur better off with out ppl in ur lives that play tug of war with ur emotions/heart. Even tho the person my not do it on purpose it still is done and the bottom line is that it still hurts. Everyone runs into someone that sooner or later they must say good bye to. When the time comes they will know what to do just as u did.

Perhaps the best thing to do in these situations is to back off and let her make her own desisions. This insures that if later she does end up with u it was through her own will and recognition of what kind of guy u r and what role u play in her life. This also insrues that ur heart doesnt get stomped on.

I must admit that leting go is a hard thing to do. While it is easier said then done sometimes it must be stomached and gone through with.


To you i say good luck. It may hurt for a while but the best thing to do is get ur $hit straight first. And perhaps when she has hers straight shell realize what kind of guy you really are to her.

Ive always said

You have to be ok by urself before ur ok with someone else. To me it seemed like she asnt grown up enough to have a deep relationship nor ok enough with her self to be with someone else.

some times it helps to talk to a stranger if u need i/m me on aim

urbandork13 is my s/n

Good luck