Women, Is it all of them? Options

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

I'm upset with my girlfriend right now. I've been with her for 4 years now, and she still doesn't understand my passion for cars. You can all read what I've bought for my car in my info. It isn't much. But for some reason she thinks I buy stuff for it all the time. I was telling her I was thinking about bidding on a header online for my car and she got really mad at me. She said, "you don't even need a header, why are you wasting your money?" I just had a birthday, and I felt I should be aloud to maybe buy myself something for a birthday/chirstmas present. I've talked to everyone else in my life, friends and grandpa and mother. They all say, "it's your money, and if that's what you want to spend it on it's okay." I told my girlfriend that all those people said that, but it didn't matter really, because it doesn't matter what anyone else said she is the most important person in my life I can't do something unless she says it's okay. I can't stand her being mad at me. I told her I felt like she's controllling sometimes because she gets mad at me if I don't do exactly what she wants. She got mad at me and told me to spend my money on whatever I wanted and stop caring about what she thought, and it was irritating what I was doing. It feels like no matter what I do, she's mad at me and I can't make her happy. I love her. How do I get her to understand me, and except me?

[jayi12-15psi]

well, the worst thing you could have done in that situation was call her controlling. When she heard you say that she most likely just equated it to you calling her a bitch.

My general opinion of situations like this: you spend years dating and although you spend money on each other, it shouldn't be about that. She shouldn't have that much of an idea of what portion of your money you're spening on her. I'm not saying she dosen't deserve nice things, but it seems like she thinks you guys share a bank account and she deserves half. I don't think she has a right to complain about what you spend money on until you're married with a joint checking account.

So, to sum it up, tell her she's worth more to you than material possessions and ask her why you don't mean the same to her.

personally, if a woman ever bitched at me about how I spend MY money, I would dump her immediately, but I tend to be a little extreme in such matters.