Opinion on my relationship Please!, All opinions wanted please. Options

[JonCars17]

I've been in a relationship for a month now and it was going great until a week ago. Therefore I'd like to have everyone's opinion on this. Just put yourself in my position and hers and tell me what you think. I'll give you the facts and try to not leave out anything or to be biast because I want your honest opinion. I will show her the percentage of results to prove that my actions over this is justified because she claims I'm acting like an asshole. We are an hours drive away from eachother and I can't see her everyday because of her schedule with school and her mom because of her age (she is 18 in less than a month) and I'm 23.

Her Facts:
`Her ex-boyfriend still calls her
`He doesn't know about me
`When he calls, it is back to back until she answers
`He wants to get back together with her because he thinks she is single.
`She had a girl tell her that she was gonna beat her up today so she calls her ex wanting advice on how to handle the situation because he has been there before.
`He is violent towards other guys and doesn't want us to fight over her and claims it isn't my choice to tell him but hers and only hers.
`He has shown up to her house in hopes to get back together. They sat for like an hour with her family there.
`He is still number 2 on her myspace page where as I'm number 1. (I don't care about this, just stating).


My facts:
`I have 4 classes with a female friend
`My girlfriend doesn't like her (doesnt know her either)
`Her and I study together sometimes (very rarely) at the college campus' library, but only for a test, which is like everyother week if that, but not every test.
`We don't hang out or anything. (Friend and I)
`If I go to the library at all, she assumes I'm meeting up with the friend
`The friend and I only talk on the phone when she has missed a day of class and needs information on a test.

So far results have been from people I've asked are:
3 dump her (2 girls and 1 guy)

Note:
I made it loud and clear I didn't like him calling her and him not knowing about me long before this post, but now I'm just sick of it.

[gt_driFFter]

Ok, I'm starting to notice a bad trend here...

you both need to drop these people in ur life if you care enough about eachother.

I agree with Natalie.


You drop the "friend" and she needs to drop the ex. BOTH need to happen for the relationship to work.

Should his gf stop talking to her ex-bf? Of course, that's common sense and nobody can argue with that. There is NO reason for him to stop hanging out with his friend. They are friends, and have never had a history before. You guys are basically saying that a relationship can't work if either people have friends of the opposite sex.
I can see where you might think this, because I used to think the same thing before I met my current girlfriend. But now, a lot of the friends I hang out with are girls, and my girlfriend has 1 or 2 good guy friends. And on top of that, my best friend happens to be a girl. The reason why this works, is because we trust eachother and we know better than to get jealous because once it roots itself in the relationship, it only gets worse from there. My gf makes me happier than I've ever been , and there is nobody I would rather be with, than her.

If the roles were reversed, I would be telling you to stop being jealous about her guy friend, and that it is completely innappropriate for you to be seeing your ex. I have a feeling that some of the girls in this thread are going to come back saying that it's not fair that he gets to keep seeing his friend, and while his girlfriend has to cut off ties with her ex. This argument would be ridiculous and would not have any sense to it because:
a) he doesn't have, and hasn't had any type of feelings for this friend
and
b) this is not true about his gf and her ex

So basically, keep being friends with your classmate, since there is NOTHING wrong about that. The only problem lies in her jealousy that is a direct cause of guilt, or insecurity. Both of which, are things that SHE needs to get over, as that is part of growing up.

This post has been edited by gt_driFFter: Dec 14, 2006 - 3:37 AM

[hurley97]

Should his gf stop talking to her ex-bf? Of course, that's common sense and nobody can argue with that. There is NO reason for him to stop hanging out with his friend. They are friends, and have never had a history before. You guys are basically saying that a relationship can't work if either people have friends of the opposite sex.
I can see where you might think this, because I used to think the same thing before I met my current girlfriend. But now, a lot of the friends I hang out with are girls, and my girlfriend has 1 or 2 good guy friends. And on top of that, my best friend happens to be a girl. The reason why this works, is because we trust eachother and we know better than to get jealous because once it roots itself in the relationship, it only gets worse from there. My gf makes me happier than I've ever been , and there is nobody I would rather be with, than her.

If the roles were reversed, I would be telling you to stop being jealous about her guy friend, and that it is completely innappropriate for you to be seeing your ex. I have a feeling that some of the girls in this thread are going to come back saying that it's not fair that he gets to keep seeing his friend, and while his girlfriend has to cut off ties with her ex. This argument would be ridiculous and would not have any sense to it because:
a) he doesn't have, and hasn't had any type of feelings for this friend
and
b) this is not true about his gf and her ex

So basically, keep being friends with your classmate, since there is NOTHING wrong about that. The only problem lies in her jealousy that is a direct cause of guilt, or insecurity. Both of which, are things that SHE needs to get over, as that is part of growing up.

I have guy friends that I hang out with sometimes who I know there will never be anything more between us, but I also understand how thats hard for the one I'm in a relationship with to accept.

about the ex-bf thing, her hanging out with him alone and calling him for anything before calling you and having dinner with him and her family is bad. shes probably keeping some kind of relationship with him just incase you fall through. if shes truely over him she'd have no problem telling him about you and cutting him off completely. I broke up with my ex after being with him for just over 3 years. talk about doomed from the start, we were having stupid arguments like 2 or 3 weeks into the relationship, it only got worse from there. the longer you put off a breakup the harder it gets