Just wrote a paper, for school... Options

[SlowCelica94]

3s? Did I miss something? When's you get that, if at all?

[Exile04]

no no no...dream celica

This post has been edited by Exile04: Oct 11, 2004 - 9:19 PM

[OrbitalGT95]

heres my paper..im prepared for the worst



The sun ripped through the blinds and pierced JD’s eyes. Like a bear awaking from hibernation, JD sluggishly arose from his makeshift bed.
“Damn it’s 9:43am,” moaned JD. He had slept in, but that didn’t bother him. JD had to be at work by 10:30am, but he knew his schedule consisted of: he needed to change the brake pads on a Mazda Rx7 FD and replace the LSD on a Toyota Corolla AE86, so he knew he could be a couple minutes late. He wandered down the stairs of his two story house that he shared with his best friend Run.
“Run must of left already,” thought JD. The paper was on the table next to a day old glass of OJ. JD always got the paper. He has been combing the paper for almost 7 months looking for his dream car. A 1997 Nissan 240SX. These cars are so rare, that JD had a better chance of learning something useful from his homework then finding one in the paper. Hopelessly flipping to the Nissan section of the paper, JD ran his finger down only to find nothing. Annoyed, JD grabbed his keys and started to work.
“Where the hell have you been JD,” asked Mikey, JD’s manager.
“Oh um duh… I went to check out this car I’m thinking about buying,” lied JD.
“Oh whatever, just make sure that that FD and AE86 are done by 10pm tonight, or I’ll run your head into the ground. They both have to be on the skid pad by 7am tomorrow morning,” yelled Mikey.
“No problem Boss“, responded JD. The work day went by slow. Despite going 141 miles per hour when JD had to “Test” the pads he replaced in the Rx7. JD was just happy to get out of that place. He loved cars more then anything. But things in his life right now weren’t the best. Because of his lack of a street creditable care, he wasn’t taken serious by the other racers in his area. And that drove him insane. It was his dream to be the best road racer, but as of right now, it still was just a dream.
Work was done for JD. He got the FD and the AE86 done on time. He knew he would.
“It’s 10:32, Races start in a half an hour” thought JD. JD hopped into his Honda and just started to drive. As the thought of the races left his head, a new one, the reason why he didn’t go anymore to the races entered. There were only a few drivers around here that JD could out drive. He always lost when he raced. It drove him crazy. Still he was addicted. He went that night because of his love for the cars. He wasn’t going to race. He couldn’t bare the pain and torment.

JD arrived at the lot where everyone hung out before the race. JD could smell the ego’s in the air as soon as he opened the Honda‘s door. The music was pumping louder then a rock concert, and the parking glowed like a rainbow from all the different iridescent neon’s the cars had.
JD’s Honda stood out like a pimple on a supermodels face. No one drove Honda’s. All that were in the lot were Toyotas , Mazdas, and Nissans. JD walked down the line of cars hoping to see his dream car. The 1997 Nissan 240sx.
“None” thought JD. The disappointment sunk into his face. JD was on his way back to the car when he looked up and saw same pencil neck kid standing next to his. He couldn’t have weighed more then 140 pounds. Tall, maybe about 6ft 2 inch.
“Who’s Honda” the kid asked in a sarcastic tone.
“Mine” yelled JD. JD was 3 ft away from the kid.
Smiling, the kid asked
“You feel like racing tonight. I just got my new car and I need to break her in on something easy” mocked the kid. JD was furious. He couldn’t stand to be mocked at. He would race this kid no matter what now. His pride was at stake.
“What is your name,” asked JD
“Josh,” responded Josh
“What you driving Josh,” asked JD in a sarcastic tone.
“That,” pointed Josh. JD followed Joshes finger only to find what he had been searching for. He couldn’t believe his eyes. This dickhead was driving the 240. He had the 97 240sx that JD has been dreaming about for so long. JD immediately threw on his poker face and said
“What are the mods, asked JD?”
“Nothing, she’s stock. I just got her last weekend,” responded Josh. JD had to play this smart. A stock 240 only has 160horsepower and his turbo charged Honda made about 195 horse power. And judging by the way this kid talked, JD knew he didn’t know **** about cars let alone drive one. He would challenge this Josh to a pink slip race, where the winner of the race would take the losers car.
“Yeah, I’ll race you, but only for slips” responded JD.

The night was muggy. The tension in JD was build. He felt as if he could lift the world on his shoulders. He needed to win this race. He needed to prove he had the skills to beat and be the best. He needed the respect from the other drives, because right now he had none. And that’s was the underlying factor that drove him closer to insanity. But most of all, he needed that car. JD knew that if he had that 240 he would have the platform to build the ultimate street car. He would be the best.
“Probably not the best time for a race, but still, this Josh kid, whoever the **** thinks he is, he isn’t going to beat me”, thought JD.
“Yo JD, I just got word you were racing. You sure you can do this” asked Run? A look of astonished relief suddenly appeared on JD’s face.
“Run, what he hell are you doing here” asked JD.
“You know me man, if my boy is racing, you know I’m going to be there to cheer him onto victory,” responded Run.
“Thanks man“, laughed JD. The mood was suddenly silenced. The two friends just stared at each other, Josh, and the Nissan 240. Despair suddenly appeared in Run’s eyes. JD knew it was only because Run didn’t want to see him beat himself up over another lose. That’s why Run and JD have been best friends since the first grade. They were always there for each other.
“You think you can take him?” asked Run. JD looked at Josh and the 240. He paused and turned to Run.
“I’ve got to,” responded JD. On that note JD started walking towards the Honda. He climbed into the cockpit of his racer and began to prepare.
“Lets get it started,” yelled JD.

Chapter 2
“This is how it’s going down. We start at the top of Mt. Kuragain, take echo lane all the way down to the summit. It’s a little more then a two mile run,” instructed Josh.
“You sure you wanna take that route. It does have the most turns out of any street that runs the mountain,” informed JD.
4.
“I don’t have to worry about the turns. I’ve got real wheel drive, you don’t,” laughed Josh. Josh’s ego was showing through. JD hated egos. The tension that was inside of JD before now turned to pure anger and hate. He would murder this bastard.

Chapter 3
The silence of the night was forgotten when the two road racers lined up at the starting line. The engines howling, the music blaring, the adrenaline following, it shattered the tranquility of the night like a rock through a stain glass window. JD could counted his heart beat. One…………….Two………Three….Four…Five…Six. His heart was jumping around. He tried to focus, but he couldn’t ignore the adrenaline that was running through his veins. It clawed at him. JD knew that this would be his night, but yet he asked himself. “Why am I so scared.” JD ignored Run as he took his position as the Christmas tree between the two cars. All JD could see was finish line ahead of him. Up went Run’s hands…and down they went. Josh peeled out slightly ahead of JD, but JD wasn’t to far behind.
“****,” screamed JD. He thought he could get Josh off the line. He realized the turbo in his car didn’t spool up quick enough resulting in turbo lag. That and the fact Nissan has a lot more torque is the reason why Josh grabbed the early lead.
JD just thought to himself, “ok Josh, here come the first set of turns, I know your laughing right now cause you think you can lose me here, but that’s not going to happen.”
“Hahahahaha, I’ll lose this grease monkey in the first set of turns coming up, there’s no way that front wheel drive civic can drift through these turns,” laughed Josh. “I almost feel sorry for poor little JD, that turbo rice car is all that he has, or should I say had after I completely embarrass him, hahahhahaah” “Here we go JD you ready to get you ass handed to ya,” laughed Josh. Josh prepared to enter the first turn. He downshifted the car from 3rd gear to seconds to slow the car down to around 35 miles per hour. As he did the back end of the car began to slide out cause Josh to create the desired Drift. Josh quickly counter steered the car so he could hold the drift through the entire turn. As he did this JD did the same thing except going about it completely different. Due to the lack of power coming from the rear wheels JD had only one means of getting the car to break loose and drift. As he entered the turn he down shifted to harness more power but as soon as he downshifted, he pulled the E break. He did this to lock up the rear wheels allowing them to slide across the asphalted. This was the only way to make a front wheel drive car drift. And it was horrible for the car. JD had already replace the rear axle once because it couldn’t take the abuse he put into her. That’s why he needed a rear wheel drive car. They are the perfect drift car.
Josh looked into his rearview mirror expecting not to see anything. But to his astonishment he just so two evil headlights coming from JD’s Honda.
“ What the… how in the hell did he do that,” screamed Josh. “You can’t drift a front wheel drive car, it’s just not possible” JD slammed down on the clutch and shifted back into 3rd gear. This is where his turbo charger would come in handy. The turbo gave the car a sudden boosted of air allowing the engine to harness more power. JD slammed back into his racing seat when he shifted.
“Driving a turbocharged car is much like being on a roller coaster ,” thought JD. He loved the thrill. The two went in and out of the next three turns following the same process. Every time Josh would gain a little distance between him and JD, but not enough to call the race. JD knew that he couldn’t pass him yet on the turns because his Honda still couldn’t handle drifting as well as Josh’s Nissan. But that didn’t worry JD too much. He had a plan going into the race. He would pass Josh on the straight away right before the final turn. That was his only chance. He prayed to whatever powers that be to help along during this race.
As the two exited the last turn, JD put his foot to the floor. They just began the straightaway. JD’s Honda was definitely the superior car now and Josh now knew that. Josh watched in horror was JD began to play catch up. In a matter of milliseconds, JD was right behind Josh and his prize. The 240sx. JD was so close to his dream that you could barely slip a sheet of paper between the two cars
“You’re not going to pass me. I’m not going to let you pass me,” screamed Josh.
Shifting into 3rd gear, Josh instantly accelerated in the 240. He wasn’t going to lose to JD. He was in the lead going into the final turn and JD was inches from his rear bumper.
“Damn I’m so close. I can’t give up. I’ve stayed with this little **** head this long…there is no way I’m losing now” screamed JD.
Coming up on the final turn JD remembered that it was almost a perfect 90 degree angle and Josh still wasn’t on the drifting level that JD was, despite JD driving the fwd car.
“If Josh doesn’t enter the turn at the right speed and swing the wheels in the opposite direction at the precise time I can pass him do to the difference in horsepower,” thought JD. Josh saw the corner approaching and he downshifted back in to 2nd gear.
“****,” screamed Josh. He had down shifted too soon, and he began to slow down too quick. He was still a good 25 yards till he reaches the breaking point of the turn. JD looked up and saw a sudden loss in speed coming from the 240.
“**** yeah,” screamed JD. Josh’s miscalculation gave him the break he needed . This was his chance. He was still inches from Josh’s rear bumper. Instantly like a flash of lighting, JD downshifted and pulled the E break sending the car into a tail spin like a hurricane going out of control. Barely keeping control of the car, JD slipped between the minuscule space between the guard rail and Josh‘s 240sx. The space was so small that JD could see the disappointment in the white of Josh’s eyes as JD slides past him on the final 90 degree turn.
“NO,” screamed Josh!
“Hell yeah,” yelled JD! The car was sliding so fast through the turn that the G force was pulling JD out of his racing seat. Instantly JD dropped the clutch and shifted into 3rd gear. Like a bat out of hell, Josh could only look in amazement as he watch JD fly ahead of him.
As JD flew past the finish line, he saw a new world emerge from the old decaying one he knew. He told himself he had started a chain reaction. Winning his dream car in a race was a start of his story, and his story will not end until he became the best road racer ever.
“Oh my god , oh my god, I can’t ****ing believe it, oh my god,” screamed JD.

[boosted_K2]

usually atleast in my experience, you should try not to use acronyms, try saying "limited slip" instead of LSD.

overall its a pretty good story, you did a real good job desplaying the emotion JD was going through.

there were alot of gramatical errors, stuff just like switching tenses and words not lining up right. give it a proofread once or twice and you should be good to go!

Initial D meets 2F2F

[OrbitalGT95]

thanks for the help boosted k2

This post has been edited by OrbitalGT95: Oct 13, 2004 - 9:36 PM

[boosted_K2]

not a problem man

[ShadowFX]

Yeah main thing i picked up on was the tense changes.. nice work but!