This Is Why English Is So Hard To Learn... Options

[prompt]

If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to
speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on
the lovely language I share is only for the brave. Peruse at your
leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple, nor
pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England, or
French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,
which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly. Boxing rings
are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If
you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet
that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man
and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English
was
invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of
the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why,
when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
they
are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"

[thedevilmaycrie]

for the last part... when the qu are together then they make one sound instead of 2 kinda like the "th" or "sh"

[amysmojo]

Wow thats a lot of stuff to think about Lol My fingers are finging ha

[x_itchy_b_x]

AMEN!

[forkee]

there are no turkeys in turkey

[amysmojo]

there are no "nets" in 6gc.net..... jk... I felt like being weird again

[Digndoug]

Wow thats a lot of stuff to think about Lol My fingers are finging ha
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That was awsome..

[amysmojo]

Wow thats a lot of stuff to think about Lol My fingers are finging ha
[right][snapback]259070[/snapback][/right]

That was awsome..
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[CheesyLobster]

hahaha, very funny.

[Consynx]

nope, im no genius
that just made me feel more stupid, lol

[prompt]

and all these people still want to come and live in America and learn english

[BlackSTX]

That was first published in readers digest like 15 or 20 years ago. A girl back in grade school ripped it off and used it for the 4-H speech competition.

This post has been edited by BlackSTX: Mar 19, 2005 - 10:28 AM

[creis]

now i feel like I descended from retards and/or drunks.

but atleast we say stuff straight, in Japanese its like
- car(my), drive, wana.
instaid of
- wana drive my car.

or atleast thats how my japanese teacher exsplaned it.

edit for spelling, I wood be a grate speler if words wer spelt rite

This post has been edited by creis: Mar 19, 2005 - 12:26 PM

[shid]

Creis, it goes:Car (mine) would like to drive?

As for the rest, my roommate and I tried to read them aloud..

[creis]

really, my teacher always said that you never really know if its a questions untill the end, so I put wana at the end because its the question, the rest is just the facts. either way, yeah. (my teacher was a little...... um air-head-ish)

[FallenHero]

and it's 'I' before 'e' except after 'c' or when sounding like 'a' as in 'neighbor' and 'way' and on -weekends- and -holloidays- and all throughout May, and you will ALWAYS be Wrong no matter WHAT you say.

my $.02

Jon

This post has been edited by FallenHero: Mar 21, 2005 - 2:21 AM

[ghostdog]

not necesarily. its kind of the same as english. like you can ask someone 'going out?' but without that little rise at the end it sounds like a statement. even in Japanese you can have a question like 'sore wa dare no kuruma?' which without the rise its already stated as a question.

really, my teacher always said that you never really know if its a questions untill the end, so I put wana at the end because its the question, the rest is just the facts. either way, yeah. (my teacher was a little...... um air-head-ish)
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[Fietsbel]

there are no holes in holland

[bloodrain]

There is no spoon.....

[boosted_K2]

nope, im no genius
that just made me feel more stupid, lol
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when have they ever learned english