Yet another dilemma for Yota to be in.., What do I do? Options

[Yota]

My sister is a grade behind me (She's a senior in high school) and will be 18 later this month...

My buddy, Jesus, is my age (19) and goes to NIU (can you tell where this is going?)

Both of which are single...Jesus has been back home the last 2 weekends...

Last weekend, he was supposed to help me with my car..He called me and said he had plans...Turns out, he was with my sister out to eat. She told him not to tell me about it because I'd get mad (like it would make things better if I had to find out some other way...) So Jesus, feeling guilty for going behind my back, ditching me, and out with my sister, decides to tell me the real reasons why he couldn't hang out. Of course, I'm furious because I hate being ditched (Don't make plans if you're gonna break them hours before you're supposed to do something) He askes me not to tell my sister because she didn't want me to know in the first place.

After contemplating whether I should confront her or not, I decide not to. I don't know why I didn't.. My sister is one of my best friends. We don't hide anything from each other. I guess if she's going to be sneaky around me, I'm going to be sneaky around her. But I decide to ask my mom if she knew anything about the situation, because then I'd be even more pissed off about the situation. She didn't know anything and told me that I shouldn't worry about it because my sister isn't really looking for a boyfriend right now because she'll be going off to college next fall.

So this weekend rolls around, and once again, Jesus is supposed to hang out with me. He told me to call him after I get off work (i did and no pick answer). So my other, Erik, and I decide to go roll out in my Jeep Wrangler. It's approaching midnight, Erik and I are walking towards the Jeep and we see Jesus' S-10 driving down the neighborhood...Erik and I position ourselves so the Jeep is between us and Jesus' truck....He stops in the front of my house, and out of the truck comes my sister! Furious as all hell, I watch all of this unfold. Jesus turns around and takes off.

My sister still hasn't ever mentioned anything to me about the situation.

And all day today a couple of guys and I were working on my car and Jesus shows up... I ask him about his night last night and of course he tells me everything he did without mentioning being with my sister the entire time. I never got the chance to confront him about it because I didn't want to do it with the other guys there to witness...

Who do I confront first, my sister or Jesus?

[BlackCelicaGT94]

Why do u even need to talk to ur sister? My brother doesnt need to know who Im dating. she probably wants to see if this leads anywhere before telling you about it.


Talk to your buddy and just say hey its cool if ur datin my sister (is it?) and just tell him that girls come and go but hes dealing with a special girl and he needs to also realize that homeboys will last longer and he cant go making plans then ditching them.

[droptopGT]

i'd talk to your boy and see whats going on ya know? then talk to your sister about it, thats what i'd do. i'm my sister's bestfriend too and i love her to death but i'll protect her from anything, even my bestfriend. in the long run, blood is thicker than water

[Anub1s]

Why do you care so much? It's your little sisters decision and not yours to make. Your friend must be a good guy otherwise you wouldn't hang out with him, so why not match him up with your sister? It's only a 1 year age difference. Let them go and see what happens, be cool with your friend, it's just your sister. Let him know how you feel about being ditched and if he is going out with your sis to let you know so you aren't agrivated next time.

[Yota]

Wouldn't you feel kind of betrayed if your friends went behind your back? I dunno, I prefer people to be honest with me. The last thing I want to see, is what I did 2 nights ago. Look, I'm over-protective of my sister. She gets hurt a lot by guys. She's never dated a guy and remained friends with them after they have broken up.

The fact that neither of them could tell me is what bothers me. I am fine with the fact that they would (should they do so). But why hide it from me? I think I deserve to know. And if my buddy can't come clean with it, what else is he hiding about this? That's my point..trivial or not...

[asg14]

I'm assuming your friend is a good guy, and that you really would not have a problem about him actually dating her.

I say that you confront him, and tell him how you fell. Just say something like, It's cool if you date my sister, but don't pull this crap about lieing to me and blowing me off. Just tell me the truth and it will all be good. Because then you start to lie to me, say your going to hang out with me, and then ditch me for my sister without telling me, it makes me wonder about things. So just tell me the truth. and i won't be mad.

Adam

[SinisterWhisper]

This guy I work with is trying to hook me up with his older sister who is a year ahead of me in school so I don't see a problem with the dating bit. HOWEVER you need to tell your friend to stop blowing you off cause thats just not cool.

[Anub1s]

Wouldn't you feel kind of betrayed if your friends went behind your back?  I dunno, I prefer people to be honest with me.  The last thing I want to see, is what I did 2 nights ago. Look, I'm over-protective of my sister.  She gets hurt a lot by guys.  She's never dated a guy and remained friends with them after they have broken up.

The fact that neither of them could tell me is what bothers me.  I am fine with the fact that they would (should they do so).  But why hide it from me?  I think I deserve to know.  And if my buddy can't come clean with it, what else is he hiding about this?  That's my point..trivial or not...
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Then just tell him you are not happy about him blowing you off and keeping secrets from you. Tell your sister you would like to know the truth too.