Darwin Awards Options

[BlackCelicaGT94]

> > >THE 2004 DARWIN AWARDS
> > >
> > >Yes, these are all true. They are finally out again. It's an annual
> >honour given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by
> >killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's
> >winner was the fellow who was killed by a Coke machine which toppled over
> >on top of him as he was attempting to tip a free soda out of it.
> > >
> > >And the nominees this year in reverse order are.....
> > >
> > >7. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,
> >because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with
> >milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited into
> >the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his
> >house down, killing both him and his sister.
> > >
> > >6. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died
> >of suffocation, according to police. He was aproximately 6' 2" tall and
> >weighed 225 pounds. He was wearin g string, a pleated skirt, white bra,
> black and
> >white saddle shoes and a woman's wig. It appeared that he was trying to
> >create a schoolgirl's uniform look. He was also wearing a military gas
> >mask that had the filter canister removed and a rubber hose attached in
> >its place. The other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons
> >unknown, and was the cause of his suffocation. Police found the task of
> >explaining the circumstances of his death to his family very awkward.
> >(Damn it...I want pictures!!!)
> > >
> > >5. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude
> >when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the
> >occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and
> >crashed. They were all found dead in the wreakage with their pants around
> >their ankles.
> > >
> > >4. A 22-year-old, Glade Drive, Reston, VA, man was found dead after he
> >tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot railroad
> >trestle. Fairfax County polic e said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker,
> >taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one foot,
> >anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and
> >hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said
> > >investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby.
> >"The length of the cord that he assembled was greater than the distance
> >between the trestle and the ground," Carmichael said. Police say the
> >apparent cause of death was "Major trauma."
> > >
> > >3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a
> >friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The
> >friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate, was hospitalized.
> > >
> > >2. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the
> smell
> >of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building,
> > >extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc.
> >After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas
> >company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had
> >difficulty navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the
> >lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the
> > >technicians reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that
> >resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object,
> >the gas in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles
> >away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually
> >untouched by the explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast
> >had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.
> > >
> > >AND THE WINNER OF THE 2004 DARWIN AWARD SHOULD BE....
> > >
> > >Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez
> >tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course.
> >Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez
> >managed to straddle the b all washer and dangle his scrotum in the
> >machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by
> >spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus
> >wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed
> >his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch.
> > >unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than
> a
> >foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and
> >the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open
> >during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and
> >remained in the washer, while the other testicle was compressed and
> >flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the
> >rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new
> >$300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using
> >to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and
> >the remaining threesome were asked to le ave the course. NOTE: This last
> >one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. But because he
> >cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, we have
> >allowed it.

[Sev408]

why are you posting something so old?? this came out in like january of 2k4

[creis]

Darwin Awards:

yep, some people just have no common sence.

This post has been edited by creis: Jun 16, 2005 - 8:04 PM

[BlackCelicaGT94]

ive never even heard of darwin awards


is this thing real?? people die these ways?

i always thought a bad way to die would be giving road head and getting in a car accident and being decapitated..haha try having that one explained to ur parents

[creis]

yeah the darwin awards are real, there is a website that has tons, most are pretty funny even though someone actualy died because of there stupidity.

http://www.darwinawards.com/

http://www.gophergas.com/funstuff/whatswrong.htm

that has to be the stragest... not really funny.

This post has been edited by creis: Jun 16, 2005 - 8:13 PM

[Akimbo]

the last one made me hurt real bad just thinking about it