Women, Is it all of them? Options

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

I'm upset with my girlfriend right now. I've been with her for 4 years now, and she still doesn't understand my passion for cars. You can all read what I've bought for my car in my info. It isn't much. But for some reason she thinks I buy stuff for it all the time. I was telling her I was thinking about bidding on a header online for my car and she got really mad at me. She said, "you don't even need a header, why are you wasting your money?" I just had a birthday, and I felt I should be aloud to maybe buy myself something for a birthday/chirstmas present. I've talked to everyone else in my life, friends and grandpa and mother. They all say, "it's your money, and if that's what you want to spend it on it's okay." I told my girlfriend that all those people said that, but it didn't matter really, because it doesn't matter what anyone else said she is the most important person in my life I can't do something unless she says it's okay. I can't stand her being mad at me. I told her I felt like she's controllling sometimes because she gets mad at me if I don't do exactly what she wants. She got mad at me and told me to spend my money on whatever I wanted and stop caring about what she thought, and it was irritating what I was doing. It feels like no matter what I do, she's mad at me and I can't make her happy. I love her. How do I get her to understand me, and except me?

[ILuvMyCelica95]

wow... that is controlling.

IMHO i think this is a silly statement " I told my girlfriend that all those people said that, but it didn't matter really, because it doesn't matter what anyone else said she is the most important person in my life I can't do something unless she says it's okay."

You should be allowed to do what you want with your money. Unless you are doing something stupid like buying hookers and drugs (yes i exaggerate to prove a point) then it really doesn't concern her if you spend money on your car. That's really ridiculous. Yes she can have an opinion on what you are buying but she should not feel that she has the right to tell you that you can't buy or do something. Do you do that to her?

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

You should be allowed to do what you want with your money. Unless you are doing something stupid like buying hookers and drugs (yes i exaggerate to prove a point)

I think she sees buying car parts as being just as bad as me spending it on drugs or hookers. I don't drink, I don't party, I don't do anything wrong besides the ocassional driving to fast.

Do you do that to her?

No, I try to support her in everything she does. She doesn't really have any hobbies, so anytime she gets interested in something, I try to support it. The only time she's ever considered spending the same amount of money on something is the time she bought a tredmill. I stent weeks driving her all over the place to find one she was happy with. She also got interested in painting for a bit, she kinda still is. I've tried to support her all I can in that too. I would do anything for this girl, I've always been that way.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

I dated a guy who was into cars and even worked on them for a living and you think I should know what a car can mean to someone but I still would get irritated cuz I wanted him to focus that much attention on me! Maybe she just wants to feel like you want her as much as you want your car! Go buy her some flowers and let her know youre thinking of her!

[jayi12-15psi]

well, the worst thing you could have done in that situation was call her controlling. When she heard you say that she most likely just equated it to you calling her a bitch.

My general opinion of situations like this: you spend years dating and although you spend money on each other, it shouldn't be about that. She shouldn't have that much of an idea of what portion of your money you're spening on her. I'm not saying she dosen't deserve nice things, but it seems like she thinks you guys share a bank account and she deserves half. I don't think she has a right to complain about what you spend money on until you're married with a joint checking account.

So, to sum it up, tell her she's worth more to you than material possessions and ask her why you don't mean the same to her.

personally, if a woman ever bitched at me about how I spend MY money, I would dump her immediately, but I tend to be a little extreme in such matters.

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

I dated a guy who was into cars and even worked on them for a living and you think I should know what a car can mean to someone but I still would get irritated cuz I wanted him to focus that much attention on me! Maybe she just wants to feel like you want her as much as you want your car! Go buy her some flowers and let her know youre thinking of her!

I buy her flowers all the time. I spend a good bit of money on her in my opinion. I told her anything she wanted for christmas I would get her, as long as I could afford it. I've gotten her somewere around $1500 in jewlery since we started dating. And I've had my car for 2-3 of those years. I try to get her something at least once a week to let her know I care about her. Sometimes I don't have the money to buy a nice necklace or something like that, but I try to get her something.

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

well, the worst thing you could have done in that situation was call her controlling. When she heard you say that she most likely just equated it to you calling her a bitch.

So, to sum it up, tell her she's worth more to you than material possessions and ask her why you don't mean the same to her.

For the first part, she gets pretty defencive when I say something like that. She did start calling me an ass**** shortly after that.
For the second part, I don't understand that. How do you think that she thinks matterial possesions are more important than me?

[BlackCelicaGT94]

hmm..she will cool down! you guys dont share bank accounts so right now you can spend your money on what you please! :-)

[jayi12-15psi]

I think she should care enough about you to not care how much money you spend on her. Flowers are nice, and so are jewlery, but any guy can get any girl that kind of stuff. Cook her a nice dinner, do something creative, go ice skating for christ sake, they love that kind of stuff. The best thing is to surprise her with something romantic, and more thoughful than flowers. After four years, I'm willing to bet you guys don't do to many romantic things anymore. She most likely wants you to give her your attention, and if she wants things more than your attention, kick her ass to the curb.

[Mike]

I'm upset with my girlfriend right now. I've been with her for 4 years now, and she still doesn't understand my passion for cars. You can all read what I've bought for my car in my info. It isn't much. But for some reason she thinks I buy stuff for it all the time. I was telling her I was thinking about bidding on a header online for my car and she got really mad at me. She said, "you don't even need a header, why are you wasting your money?" I just had a birthday, and I felt I should be aloud to maybe buy myself something for a birthday/chirstmas present. I've talked to everyone else in my life, friends and grandpa and mother. They all say, "it's your money, and if that's what you want to spend it on it's okay." I told my girlfriend that all those people said that, but it didn't matter really, because it doesn't matter what anyone else said she is the most important person in my life I can't do something unless she says it's okay. I can't stand her being mad at me. I told her I felt like she's controllling sometimes because she gets mad at me if I don't do exactly what she wants. She got mad at me and told me to spend my money on whatever I wanted and stop caring about what she thought, and it was irritating what I was doing. It feels like no matter what I do, she's mad at me and I can't make her happy. I love her. How do I get her to understand me, and except me?

Get a new girlfriend

/problem

[jayi12-15psi]

yeah, **** that noise.

[soulshadow]

Wow! Have you bought a present for her lately??
When you spend more for the car and less for the woman.
It just means that you love the car more than the woman.
I think she is jealous of the car cause-

1.) She can cat-fight with the car and end up losing
2.) She can bitch at the car and the car won't bitch back so she feels stupid
3.) The car will never ever cheat on you!
4.) The car is your slave!

Just tell her that if she can do what the car can do, then you will stop spending so much on the car.
And why would you need headers for the celi? None of them will bolt right on without wielding.

[jayi12-15psi]

My car is jealous of my new g/f, I spend so much time with her that my car has begun to rebel. Ever since we started going out, something breaks on my car an average of twice a week.

[Verde97]

My friend, I am in the same boat (so to speak).

I'm married, and my wife hates that I spend money on the car. Granted I have done a lot with it, see profile for mods. She will put down the Celica at any given time, for no reason. What I do: ignore it. Keep spending the money because it's your money. To cool her off (because I think she's a little hyped up), I would cook her a nice dinner, just the two of you, and sit and talk about life and where you want her to go with you, and where you want to go with her. I'm assuming that you want to stay with her.

Remember, everything happens for a reason.

[jayi12-15psi]

My friend, I am in the same boat (so to speak).

oh, I thought you were in his boat, I was like wtf is he doing there? lol

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

Wow! Have you bought a present for her lately??
When you spend more for the car and less for the woman.
It just means that you love the car more than the woman.
I think she is jealous of the car cause-

1.) She can cat-fight with the car and end up losing
2.) She can bitch at the car and the car won't bitch back so she feels stupid
3.) The car will never ever cheat on you!
4.) The car is your slave!

Just tell her that if she can do what the car can do, then you will stop spending so much on the car.
And why would you need headers for the celi? None of them will bolt right on without wielding.

LOL, I do love my car a lot. She's my baby. But I spend at lest 3 times as much, maybe up to 5, on my girlfriend than on my car. That's not including gas and oil. I don't think it's about her being jealous. I think it's just about her not understanding that I love my cars, and it brings me alot of pleasure to upgrade them. I'm the kinda guy who would rather buy a car for $5K and spend $25K making it better, than to ever buy a $30k car. Cars were in my life before her. She hated the car I drove when I started dating her. I loved that car. Car had no radio, no power steering, no a/c, no backseet, loud exhaust, it was snappy and jerky to drive, had no sound deffinning matterial anywere and was loud to drive or ride in. It also had a good bit of money in the motor/suspension. I gave it up for the Celica, because she liked it. I've held resentment towards her since for making me get rid of that car. I'd just like to make the Celica 1/2 as fast as it was.

[jayi12-15psi]

what was it?

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

what was it?

Geo Storm GSi. Care for a list of mods? My uncle helped me a good bit with it, so I can't take all the credit. You'd really be surprised the amount of parts you can actually buy for those things, espesically when you swap a 1.8 Impulse motor and build it from ground up.

[jayi12-15psi]

I'm not surprised, once I was at a local performance shop ordering suspension parts and a guy came in and ordered 3g worth of turbo kit stuff for his festiva, nothing surprises me anymore.

sure, a list of mods would be cool

[ILuvMyCelica95]

oh and to answer the question. No it is not all of us. My car > guys.