I got some bad trust issues and i need some help Options

[cHinaman727]

I guess it's good that I can admit this, but I have serious trust issues when it comes to relationships.

My ex girlfriend cheated on me twice (she was a!@#!@$), and ever since then I have a hard time trusting. I've been doing some research and apparently I'm the kind of person that has to "know" everything. I guess that kinda spins off of the fact that I am a want-proof kinda guy. My problem is that I know that I can't "know" everything for sure about a relationship, that just doesnt happen, and in the mean time, I am beating myself up mentally.

Help would be very very appreciated.

Ignorant, stupid, offensive or non-helpful opinions not welcome.

[CelicaST_CALI]

dude,no one knows relatinships,even god doesnt understand woman....lol

[Rayme]

dude,no one knows relatinships,even god doesnt understand woman....lol

Its sad, deal with it, it won't happen.
I'm also a KNOW guy, I ask my GF all the time what's wrong until she cracks and tell me, but she's nice enough to keep up with it

[m0dd3d1]

chinaman your inbox is full...

[MaskedMan]

Believe me, you DONT want to know everything. If you knew everything then a relationship would be sooo boring. Once a relationship becomes predictable, you will just lose interest. Being able to trust is the first part of a relationship. Can't trust yet? Then don't get into a relationship, becuase if she knows you don't trust her, then her cheating on you is the least of your worries. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn't trust them, so it wouldn't work out anyways. You gotta leave some things up to chance man. If you spend all this time worrying, you'll miss out on a lot of great stuff. If a girl cheats on you, then w/e walk away. She isn't worth your time or thought, so move onto the next one.

[xs94st]

Believe me, you DONT want to know everything. If you knew everything then a relationship would be sooo boring. Once a relationship becomes predictable, you will just lose interest. Being able to trust is the first part of a relationship. Can't trust yet? Then don't get into a relationship, becuase if she knows you don't trust her, then her cheating on you is the least of your worries. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn't trust them, so it wouldn't work out anyways. You gotta leave some things up to chance man. If you spend all this time worrying, you'll miss out on a lot of great stuff. If a girl cheats on you, then w/e walk away. She isn't worth your time or thought, so move onto the next one.

been around the block, eh masked?

x2 with everythin that maskedman sed..take the good parts that you learned in your last relationship, and put them to use in new ones. u cant think that each girl that you are with will turn out like your ex, thats where the distrust begins. having these relationships are very important, and if you cant trust the other person, you are bound to have lots of problems later on in life. these small connections you have right now are a foundation for later relationships that are more serious and can/will end up with you gettin hitched.

the know factor..i know you always want to know whats goin on with her because of the trust thing. i have learned to let it be. my girlfriend has a bunch of friends..more guys than girls..n i know some of them to be complete assholes..but i gotta let go when it comes to trusting her judgement. if she wants to be with you, then she knows what to do. if she fu(Ks up, then you know she wasnt right. it took me a while to get used to it, but eventually it will come to you..eventually..

take some time. hang out with the guys man..seriously jus go out n have a good time! go play some gears of war n have a couple of beers n pizza! when the next lady comes around, just remember to take the good that you had in your previous relationship n put it to good use. just don't discuss too much with the new lady about your past..not always a good way to start. NICE GUYS DONT FINISH LAST. it just takes us longer to get to where we want..but you will get what you want. but for now, cruise man, cruise..you gotta take in everything cuz life is too short..i know i said before that this is just the beginning of your life, but **** happens. life is sweet, with its occasional bitter parts..shoot, go out for a drive in your celi! makes me feel better if im jus drivin round goin someplace nice takin an hour to go n an hour to get back.

trust is the biggest part of a relationship. ease yourself into it and you'll be alrite.

[lubu]

Believe me, you DONT want to know everything. If you knew everything then a relationship would be sooo boring. Once a relationship becomes predictable, you will just lose interest. Being able to trust is the first part of a relationship. Can't trust yet? Then don't get into a relationship, becuase if she knows you don't trust her, then her cheating on you is the least of your worries. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn't trust them, so it wouldn't work out anyways. You gotta leave some things up to chance man. If you spend all this time worrying, you'll miss out on a lot of great stuff. If a girl cheats on you, then w/e walk away. She isn't worth your time or thought, so move onto the next one.

been around the block, eh masked?

x2 with everythin that maskedman sed..take the good parts that you learned in your last relationship, and put them to use in new ones. u cant think that each girl that you are with will turn out like your ex, thats where the distrust begins. having these relationships are very important, and if you cant trust the other person, you are bound to have lots of problems later on in life. these small connections you have right now are a foundation for later relationships that are more serious and can/will end up with you gettin hitched.

the know factor..i know you always want to know whats goin on with her because of the trust thing. i have learned to let it be. my girlfriend has a bunch of friends..more guys than girls..n i know some of them to be complete assholes..but i gotta let go when it comes to trusting her judgement. if she wants to be with you, then she knows what to do. if she fu(Ks up, then you know she wasnt right. it took me a while to get used to it, but eventually it will come to you..eventually..

take some time. hang out with the guys man..seriously jus go out n have a good time! go play some gears of war n have a couple of beers n pizza! when the next lady comes around, just remember to take the good that you had in your previous relationship n put it to good use. just don't discuss too much with the new lady about your past..not always a good way to start. NICE GUYS DONT FINISH LAST. it just takes us longer to get to where we want..but you will get what you want. but for now, cruise man, cruise..you gotta take in everything cuz life is too short..i know i said before that this is just the beginning of your life, but **** happens. life is sweet, with its occasional bitter parts..shoot, go out for a drive in your celi! makes me feel better if im jus drivin round goin someplace nice takin an hour to go n an hour to get back.

trust is the biggest part of a relationship. ease yourself into it and you'll be alrite.

well said!!

[97Celica]

The best advice I can give is just be yourself and don't ever pry into a woman's life. The truth always comes out. Some people are just nasty people. Your ex obviously was. But,you can't live your life in fear that EVERYONE is like that. You need to approach relationships as if you were NEVER hurt,ever. I am with the most amazing woman EVER now and it's because I didn't bring any BS baggage and we are growing as friends and lovers more and more each day...especially since we live together now and I am trying to get her to trade in her VW for a Toyota

[MaskedMan]

been around the block, eh masked?

Oh yes, every street and every corner. twice. I know the block better than mapquest.

[cHinaman727]

thanks alot for all the help so far guys/gals, you have no idea how much this has helped me!

i am now making a concious decision to make myself TRUST. When I find myself start to ask questions/be suspicious, I think STOP! and then I try and listen to something esle or think about my celica

Anyways, thanks for all the help, I really appreciate it!

[xs94st]

When I find myself start to ask questions/be suspicious, I think STOP! and then I try and listen to something esle or think about my celica

nah dude seriously..thats exactly what i used to do when i had my mk3..i would think about fixin her up or some other shiite n jus let it go. im glad you're startin to ease your self in..sorta like mergin into traffic cept some asshole wont let you in..jus gotta take it slow.

take care man, were here if ya need us.