I feel like ripping my hair out. Options

[Phat_99CeliGT]

Tonight i told a girl how i felt about her. i told her everything i thought, felt, dreamed, and could offer.
Lets just say that after writing 2 pages so i didn't miss anything and getting the nerve to tell her, i didn't get the response i was hoping for.
im not sure how to take her response. i mean, she didn't say she didn't like me. she was suprised that i liked her.
See, she is comming out of a ****ty relationship. i been by her side the whole time. she tells me everything. her BF is an ass ans just keeps her around to do laundry and a weekend booty call. i hate him with a passion. she has been trying to call him for 3 days and won't answer. she left him VMs telling him its over. shes going crazy waiting on his call.

She is a great girl and deserves ALOT better, and i KNOW i can give her what she was and needs.

I just hope she doesn't go back to him.

I don't know what to do.

should i just keep on doing what i been doing? be her friend and just deal if she takes him back?
if she takes him back, he won't let her talk to me or hang out with me anymore.

[Sh0gunkid8721]

i was in ur shoe last year. i was crazy about this girl and i still am, but i hated her b/f and im one step away from literally strangling him to death and i hate him. but by bein by her side like that, u become really close to her, and she starts to see u as a friend that she can rely on. i know its REALLY hard, but continue to do what ur doin and be supportive but i dont see anythin happening between u 2. im in the same boat ur in and i know how ur feelin and it sux.

and if she REALLY did care about u, and thought of u as a friend or whatever...she wouldnt let that happen and she wont let him control her like that. if t does happen and she ignores u and doesnt wanna talk to u, then screw it, cuz she isnt worth the time.

This post has been edited by Sh0gunkid8721: Feb 14, 2006 - 12:59 AM

[macavely]

damn kid sounds like you are in ther FRIEND ZONE .... you could get out of it.. but sorry to say you sound soft an most likly won't do what it takes to get out of the FRIEND ZONE ... so i suggest you just find some other girl to help you forget about this one.. and if she comes around then twist her out and let her go... only way to get over with girl is to make another one scream your name ..

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

Most guys just treat their women like crap. Women like it that way. They say they don't, but they do. I won't treat my girl bad, even though I know it would benifit me sometimes. They'll be a girl who responds to this and says, "I don't like mean guys," and she'll really think that. But she'll actually like them. Women are stupid. But it's an evolutionary advantage, I guess. Look at Apes. The biggest and meanest Silver Back gets the women. The problem is, girls confuse this meaness with the ability to protect, and it become attractive. I'm a big guy, and if it calls for it, I will be mean to those who threaten my friends or family, but I won't be mean to my girl, and women see that as weakness. lol, stupid women.

You're too nice, man. It sucks so much. It takes forever for girls to realise that they are better with guys like us. Guys who want to treat them right. I hate women. My girlfriend irritates me sometimes. I have to remind her every now and then how I have a black belt, wrestled for 2 years, and have been boxing for 8 years now. I've seen pictures of you, and we're about the same size. Girls don't get that we big guys and put the hurtin on those who may harm. When your bigger, you don't have as much reason to be mean either. Most guys know to stay clear, but women stay clear cause we're too nice. And like the statement I wrote above, I'll end with, women are stupid.

EDIT: Just to add, it is possible to get the girl. I took mine for a jerk and we've been together for 4+ years now. You have to show her an agressive side, or at least a strong side. My girlfriend said that she thought of me just as a friend untill one day I got her to come to my house and jump on the trampoleen. It was wet out, and she didn't want to get her socks wet, and she left her shoes on the porch. So I asker her if she wanted me to cary her over there. She was impressed by my strength to cary her, and she's been mine since.

This post has been edited by Bigmeanbulldog55: Feb 14, 2006 - 1:16 AM

[Phat_99CeliGT]

well, she just told me he called her.
he didn't put up a fight. didn't know what he wanted.
and hung up on her.

im trying to talk her down now.

[johnsonius_87]

I'm in a similar situation. I've been friends with this guy I work with for almost 2 years, and for over a year he's been datin this other girl. I liked him before they started dating, but then I ended up datin someone else too. Well we broke up & I still really like the guy from work. We've been hanging out alot for the past couple of months and he knows how I feel about him. He likes me too, but also cares for his girlfriend and doesnt want to just dump her for someone else. She doesnt want him hangin out with me, but he told her he's not gonna blow me off when we're still good friends. Although I really like him & obviously wouldn't mind if they broke up, I'm still there as a friend for him & try to talk stuff out w him. I'm just patiently waiting on him, being the good friend- talking/listening when he needs it & just hangin out. It sorta sucks sometimes, but hopefully itll be worth the wait.
As far just finding another girl to take your mind off her, unless you really care about someone else & seriously want to be with them, dont date them for the sake of forgetting someone else. Also, if she really considers you as a good friend, she shouldnt let her boyfriend come between you.

[celicaST]

damn i feel you phat. sometimes you want to tell a girl what she means to you, but its a bad idea every time. telling them your feelings is NOT something you want to do no matter how much you want to or you see it in those damn romance movies. life doesnt work like the movies! its creepy for the girl, even if the girl really likes you. for one, actions mean sooo much more than words. you have to show her how you feel over time, not tell her it all in one sitting. its too much for her to handle, especially now. dont be so impatient damnit! should have just played it cool, supported her, keep in touch and she would have came to you if she was interested. you had it in the bag, but sorry man, frankly you blew it. i agree with mac completely, you do sound like a very nice guy but you have to learn how to control your emotions (girls like guys who are confident and in control). i really dont see any way of getting out of this. just find another girl.

***oh and dont rip your hair out, that wont do any good unless she digs bald guys just wanted to add this is one of those learning situations. i would forget about this girl as soon as you can (at least the thought of a relationship, but stay friends) you never know, one way to get her would be to act like you never said anything. get another gf, and then shell start wondering if you meant what you said. let her come to you is what im saying. do not go after her, bad idea. be patient. id say a 50/50 shot if shes interested at all. but in any case, dont dwell on your mistake (because it was a mistake), learn from it.

This post has been edited by celicaST: Feb 14, 2006 - 1:34 AM

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

I'm in a similar situation. I've been friends with this guy I work with for almost 2 years, and for over a year he's been datin this other girl. I liked him before they started dating, but then I ended up datin someone else too. Well we broke up & I still really like the guy from work. We've been hanging out alot for the past couple of months and he knows how I feel about him. He likes me too, but also cares for his girlfriend and doesnt want to just dump her for someone else. She doesnt want him hangin out with me, but he told her he's not gonna blow me off when we're still good friends. Although I really like him & obviously wouldn't mind if they broke up, I'm still there as a friend for him & try to talk stuff out w him. I'm just patiently waiting on him, being the good friend- talking/listening when he needs it & just hangin out. It sorta sucks sometimes, but hopefully itll be worth the wait.
As far just finding another girl to take your mind off her, unless you really care about someone else & seriously want to be with them, dont date them for the sake of forgetting someone else. Also, if she really considers you as a good friend, she shouldnt let her boyfriend come between you.

Homewrecker. If he's happy, and you really like him, you should want him to be happy. Just tell him strate up how it is. No since in screwing up a good relationship. When a person is in a bad relationship, it's okay to go after them. It'll just cause trouble to stick around. Since I got my girlfriend about 4 years ago, I stopped talking to as many girls. I don't hang out with them at all. I do this out of respect for my girlfriend. That, and I don't want to ever risk anything happening to cause problems between us. I'm a guy, and I know what will happen if I'm around another girl too much. I hate myself for that. Stupid testoserone. But I swear I'll never let anything happen, I care to much for my girl. I just don't even like thinking about other women. Makes me feel like a bad person.

[dustinkemp]

i dunno what to tell ya to do jared.....i kinda feel ya on this but you just have to let fate take charge i guess and hope for the bes buddy

oh and uhh....theres not alot of hair to be pulling out ya know lol

Dustin

[BlackSTX]

Sorry, man, but I never thought being friends with girls is a good idea. Either date them or don't. Girls pretty much never date the guys they keep as friends, especially if they were always dating some other person the entire time. If they were into you that way, they would be dating you in the first place. Sorry to be harsh, but that's how girls are.

[creamed_corn]

Ah youth.

Move on. Right now. Forget about her. Ignore her. Get your ass out of there. Move on.

Trust me you'll respect yourself a hell of a lot more for it in the future.

This is the voice of experience talking. You're way too emotionally tied up in this and it'll only strangle you to death. There are lots of great women out there, don't get hung up on one.

[gt_driFFter]

Ah youth.

Move on. Right now. Forget about her. Ignore her. Get your ass out of there. Move on.

Trust me you'll respect yourself a hell of a lot more for it in the future.

This is the voice of experience talking. You're way too emotionally tied up in this and it'll only strangle you to death. There are lots of great women out there, don't get hung up on one.

Jarod, you will never hear better advice on the matter, than what this guy just said. Trust me, I'm dealt with the SAME situation you did. I held on to what wasn't there, always hoping it would turn out to be more than friends. You will save yourself a lot of heartache if you just let it go. I know right now she might seem like the only girl you want, but i swear to you that will change.

-Josh

[Bigmeanbulldog55]

Don't let people tell you what your thoughts and feelings are. Only you know the situation. Everyone "knows" what's best. And everyone has there experiance that counts for something. My advice, just be honest with yourself. You'll know whats best. Take it or leave it.

[johnsonius_87]

I am not a homewrecker & I do want him to be happy. I'm not doin anything, and we're not screwin around. "When a person is in a bad relationship, it's okay to go after them." He is in sorta a bad relationship- they argue & go days w/o talking & have diff religions & dont have much in common etc etc. I'm not attempting to "go after him" though, but we're friends so yeah I'm gonna see & talk to him. I see him at work & he comes over on occasion b/c he's friends w/ my brother. I understand how you could get the wrong idea about it, but I'm honestly not trying to break them up. I've been on her side of a situation like this & I would never do that to anyone. Unless you know whats been said between us or how we act around each other you have no right to say i'm a homewrecker or anything else.

[creamed_corn]

Ah youth.

Move on. Right now. Forget about her. Ignore her. Get your ass out of there. Move on.

Trust me you'll respect yourself a hell of a lot more for it in the future.

This is the voice of experience talking. You're way too emotionally tied up in this and it'll only strangle you to death. There are lots of great women out there, don't get hung up on one.

Jarod, you will never hear better advice on the matter, than what this guy just said. Trust me, I'm dealt with the SAME situation you did. I held on to what wasn't there, always hoping it would turn out to be more than friends. You will save yourself a lot of heartache if you just let it go. I know right now she might seem like the only girl you want, but i swear to you that will change.

-Josh

You know I think it's a stage every man goes through... the whole naive about women/friendship stage. You make the mistake a couple times of falling for a woman you can't have, you make an ass of yourself, and you learn not to make it again. It's part of growing up... kind of a rite of passage. Think about it; lots of guys in their 20's have female friends, but look at 40 year old plus guys... how many of them have good female friends? None. That's because they're smart.

Oh, and also note, watch out, because a lot of women are just attention whores that want you to like them and have no intention of returning the favor. They think they're hot but it all roots back to insecurity about themselves. Remember: the better they try to look, the more insecure they probably are. I have a feeling a few of these girls might even be sharking around this forum...

This post has been edited by creamed_corn: Feb 15, 2006 - 1:27 AM