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[lagos]

^ you say she wouldnt want some one whos gonna b there for her and treat them right..this girl has been through absuive relationships, shez been used alot, shez dated the worst guys in the world. like the only decent guy shez been with is my friend, who she is with right now. He treats her pretty good but is using her for sex pretty much.

she dosnt see it that way. you do! she dosnt want to be treated "right", she wants something new and exciting, even if its bad for her. thats how most girls work. thats why most girls end up with assholes and nice guys finish last.

to her, she already has you, and she is happy with the way things are between you and her. if you say anythng, you will just mess everything up . im telling you, i had a friend just like you. she was my soul mate. very close for 10yrs and we even dated at one point, and had a friends with benefits kind of deal. everything fell apart when i told her how i felt. after years of trying to make things work again, i finally gave up and had to stop talking to her. it breaks my heart and i know she is sad about it too, but its just how these things have to end up.

take those feelings and try to focus them on your current girlfriend. shes the one that wants them, not your friend

[lagos]

if it was ment to be..... it would have happened on its own

[celicarus]

i would love to hear how this works out - sounds like a movie - hope it ends well

i kinda agree with lagos -- girls are weird -

[Gatz]

had a similar situation and tried to work things out and it failed, randomly talk anymore though wouldn't say it was for the worst cause ya it bothers ya not saying anything. Dont live in the past, would worry about your current gf and not try to make something happen that most likely isn't there...

[yyet]

Sorry man, it seems like I'm the only one that thinks you should tell her. I guess the consensus is pretty much unanimous. "Girls are weird" They just don't know what they want!!! Or if they do know what they want, they won't tell you!!! We are supposed to be mind readers!!! So yeah. I dunno man... Good luck is pretty much the only encouragement I can say.

Scenario 1:
You tell her, and you guys are awkard and end up not being friends.

Scenario 2:
You tell her, she feels the same way, then it goes south and not friends any more.

Scenario 3: You tell her and then everything works out happily ever after.

Scenario 4: You move, don't tell her, let her end up with a jack@$$, never know what could've been.

Yet

[creamed_corn]

LISTEN TO LAGOS

I REPEAT, LISTEN TO LAGOS.

LET THAT SINK IN.

He said it just as well as I could've. You're in the friend zone. You're done. If she really wanted you she'd be with you; think about it like that.

Admitting your feelings to a female friend will ALWAYS result in messing things up one way or another. Just let it go. Move on. There's billions of chicks in this world and it's not worth being a tool for one. Go remove the shrink wrap from your balls and get over her; besides, you're going to college... do you have any idea how much ass you're going to be getting? You won't even remember her name in six months.

Life isn't like the movies... damn straight.

Never take girl advice from a woman, either. That's like asking Hitler for advice on the Jews. Women are naive and idealistic. They'll tell you to do something because it sounds nice when in reality they know it'd never work.

[lil_lissa]

^^^ i dunno about anyone else, but sounds like you have had some great relationships and know all about them!!

[97lestyousay]

I think there should be only one. If you think about others
in a non-freind way ur prolly with the wrong one.
To the original question, yes I have and it ruined a couple of lives.
My exwife had the same quandry and it ruined 4 lives mine included
just about a year before that. Figure out what you want and stick
with it or move on. Sorry don't mean to sound like I'm preaching.

Randy

[Valo666]

I dunno people. Heres an example of why i might tell her. I havent seen her face 2 face since b4 my b-day back in Feb. Tonight, i went over 2 the mall to pickup a cd i ordered and as i was walkin down the hall, i see her and her bf sittin in these chairs we have. I havent seen her b4 since b4 x-mas when he first got his truck. Im walkin 2wards them, she sees me, screams, comes running over, jumps on me, gives me a hudge hug and a kiss on the cheek. Her bf just sits there, gives me a handshake and sits back down..so i start talkin 2 them standin there and she says "Hey, u wanna sit down? ill just sit on some ones lap"...so i said if you dont mind..so i sit down on the chair..she gets up, i think shez gonna go sit on her bf's lap, so she sits on mine instead. So shes askin me all these questions about whats goin on with me these days, hows the car, etc. Then she goes 2 talk 2 her friend shes waitin 4, so i start talkin 2 her bf, we get chattin, then she comes back. So she sits back down, on my lap again, and asks me "so, are you and sarah still 2gether??". She looked me right in the eyes, and i said, "yea, we r goin on a year n 4 months tomorrow" Instead of her being like "WOW Congradulations" like 95% of my friends would, her eyes sank, she got this kinda depressed look on her face and was like "oh..good for you guys". no enthusasm at all, but before i said it, she was all crazy and enthusiastic like she usually is. So i told her about my trip, she asked when i was leavin..so i told her and she was like "good, you cant leave b4 my b-day. Im havin a house party, you should really come by and take shots with me." So i said sure, and asked her if its ok 2 bring sar. she said "well, i guess if you want. but you have 2 have a beer with me when i have my first legal one". so we talked some more, i saw what time it was, told em i hadda go. So i shake hands with tom, her bf, and she gets up and comes over, gives me the biggest hug i have ever gotten from her in my life, and she gives me another kiss on the cheek, but it was like 1/4 on the lips, 3/4 on the cheek. Then she says softly to me, "gimme a call sometime, we gotta chill soon".

i dunno about you guys, but there was a crazy vibe going on with her and me 2day. Also, her and her bf were really really distant. Plus, they see eachother 1 or 2 days a week cuz of his apprenticship and cuz of her workin. they work opposit hours. I dunno, i think things with them are breakin down slowly.

[Digndoug]

just know... that there is no way she will say, "yes, i feel the same way. lets get together"

its too late for you. she thinks of you like a brother or a gay friend. girls dont want a guy who will always be there for them and treat them right. they want something new and exciting.

^ that is your awnser

Dude.. you are JUST A FRIEND.. Do not tell her.. its not worth it, your just going to loose a friend..

I have had to many girls complain about one of there best guy friends said that they like them..

it dosnt work..

[devilsden97]

yes and i never said anything

uh im just curious, what is this in response too>??

[creamed_corn]

^^^ i dunno about anyone else, but sounds like you have had some great relationships and know all about them!!

Remember what I told you about not listening to women. It's like asking Hitler for adivce on jews.

I dunno people. Heres an example of why i might tell her. I havent seen her face 2 face since b4 my b-day back in Feb. Tonight, i went over 2 the mall to pickup a cd i ordered and as i was walkin down the hall, i see her and her bf sittin in these chairs we have. I havent seen her b4 since b4 x-mas when he first got his truck. Im walkin 2wards them, she sees me, screams, comes running over, jumps on me, gives me a hudge hug and a kiss on the cheek. Her bf just sits there, gives me a handshake and sits back down..so i start talkin 2 them standin there and she says "Hey, u wanna sit down? ill just sit on some ones lap"...so i said if you dont mind..so i sit down on the chair..she gets up, i think shez gonna go sit on her bf's lap, so she sits on mine instead. So shes askin me all these questions about whats goin on with me these days, hows the car, etc. Then she goes 2 talk 2 her friend shes waitin 4, so i start talkin 2 her bf, we get chattin, then she comes back. So she sits back down, on my lap again, and asks me "so, are you and sarah still 2gether??". She looked me right in the eyes, and i said, "yea, we r goin on a year n 4 months tomorrow" Instead of her being like "WOW Congradulations" like 95% o

f my friends would, her eyes sank, she got this kinda depressed look on her face and was like "oh..good for you guys". no enthusasm at all, but before i said it, she was all crazy and enthusiastic like she usually is. So i told her about my trip, she asked when i was leavin..so i told her and she was like "good, you cant leave b4 my b-day. Im havin a house party, you should really come by and take shots with me." So i said sure, and asked her if its ok 2 bring sar. she said "well, i guess if you want. but you have 2 have a beer with me when i have my first legal one". so we talked some more, i saw what time it was, told em i hadda go. So i shake hands with tom, her bf, and she gets up and comes over, gives me the biggest hug i have ever gotten from her in my life, and she gives me another kiss on the cheek, but it was like 1/4 on the lips, 3/4 on the cheek. Then she says softly to me, "gimme a call sometime, we gotta chill soon".

i dunno about you guys, but there was a crazy vibe going on with her and me 2day. Also, her and her bf were really really distant. Plus, they see eachother 1 or 2 days a week cuz of his apprenticship and cuz of her workin. they work opposit hours. I dunno, i think things with them are breakin down slowly.

Rule number one of women: don't assume they want you until they have their tongue crammed down your throat. Women are attention whores and like to feel special and desired. She knows you want her and it sounds like she's milking it for her own self-esteem. Don't be a tool.

This post has been edited by creamed_corn: Apr 1, 2006 - 12:36 AM

[lagos]

do what you want, but in the end, it will be your funeral.

from the sound if it, she is treating you like her gay friend. she can sit on yor lap, give u a kiss, etc... and it wont matter because there is no attraction or sexual tension in her mind, when it comes to you.

[lil_lissa]

it sounds like you've already made up your mind no matter what anyone here is telling you... do what u gotta do

[zachattack15]

Get R Done

[yyet]

Her boyfriend let her sit on your lap??? Questionable? It seems like he feels he has nothing to worry about with you then, which tells you that not only does she maybe think of you as her gay friend, but he does as well. Any how, "It's your funeral" so just do what you gotta do.

Yet

[ZacMan1987]

I'd just haveta say, proly not a good idea. I've been in the same situation once before which blew up in my face, and I learned to just let it go, and now, I'm in it again, only this time, I'm saying to myself "just deal." It's true, life sadly is not the movies, and you'll probably get hurt.

See, here's the thing. The very thing that makes you attractive in any shape or form is the fact that you want nothing to do with her relationally. It happens to me all the time. The majority of my good friends are girls, because I'm always the popular, non threatening guy. No I'm not gay, although most of my female friends ask my advice on all things style. Totally different subject there LOL.

The point is, the moment she feels "threatened" or "in your sights" you're going to become "just another guy" and it'll be ovah. Maybe it'll happen in the future. If not, then there's probably somebody else out there who's even more like "woah," waiting in the wings. Give it time. Don't force it. If it's gonna happen, you'll know. If there's any doubt in your mind, it's probably a bad idea to pressure the situation.

[creamed_corn]

Don't even waste your time anymore, guys. This kid is already dead in the water. If he's thinking about doing it this much, then he's going to.

And is that really a bad thing? Maybe he needs to **** up just once like we all had to to know it's a bad idea.

Godspeed... may this expereince you're about to go through be as quick and painless as possible!

[Cutrara]

Rule number one of women: don't assume they want you until they have their tongue crammed down your throat. Women are attention whores and like to feel special and desired. She knows you want her and it sounds like she's milking it for her own self-esteem. Don't be a tool.

These words were on the tip of my tongue.