What do I do?, im 21 years old Options

[BlackCelicaGT94]

Ok so I still live at home and have a snoop of a mother. She has numerous times gone thru my room and has made an account on Myspace. When she tells me something on my page is inappropriate we erupt at eachother and she tells me how I look like a Hoe in some of my pics. so I end up taking them down and she promises that she will not go on and check anymore cuz I tell her that its the reason I dont tell her about anything in my life cuz she snoops for the answers. Well guess what she did last night? She snooped on my page again. Keep in mind that my profile is set to private so I dont know how she saw two pics and I went thru my friend list and couldnt find any that i didnt know and thought maybe she made a fake profile. So now I dont know what to do. Im over being 21 years old and having my mother snoop around. Ive grown up a good kid..never did a drug, never smoked a cigarette, didnt start being interested in boys till 17, tell them where im going when i walk out the door, etc (not saying ur a bad kid if u do anything i just stated) So i dont know why at 21 im still being treated like im under the age of 18. My parents arent strict. Im allowed to go out till whenever and what not but its like cuz I dont open up to her about every detail of my life (pretty much no detail) she feels the need to snoop.

[devilsden97]

move out for a while...they'll either A) stress out because ur not around and worry and beg u to come back, and then u have the upper hand and u can set the rules...or B) ull like it sooo much that no ammount of beging will change your mind

people need to learn how to play hardball, everyone has a button.....just need to learn how to push it. Parents are no differnt

This post has been edited by devilsden97: Aug 27, 2006 - 12:18 PM

[BlackCelicaGT94]

I cant move out for another 6 months atleast cuz i gotta get my bills paid off (which will be in 2 months) and save up cuz its expensive to live in the seattle area.

Plus ive moved out before and she snooped on 6gc to find out crap.

[devilsden97]

ok but then your "on your own" and they (your mom) cant play the "my house my rules" card.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

uhh ever get the feeling while ur driving 80mph to just turn into that concrete barrier?? thats the feeling my mom makes me have

[saleeka]

Honestly, your stress level will go from 80% to 10% in a heartbeat once you move out... My parents couldent PAY me to live with them again, and we all get along just fine... Also, is it just me, or does it seems that parent/child relationships that cross the lines of privacy (like your case nat) almost always come from people who always did what their parents wanted/expected from them (for the most part)? My friends and I always pretty much did what we wanted to regardless what our parents said by the time we were 16, and I dont recall any of us having problems with overbearing parents?

[BlackCelicaGT94]

She says its weird for a 21 year old girl to act like this way towars her mother and tell her NOTHING of whats going on in her life. and I dont see it weird. I just dont feel I need my mom to know whats going on. Shes not my friend..she raised me and thats good enough. I dont need my parents to be my best friends.

oh and PS

MOM IF YOURE READING THIS - HI!

[devilsden97]

uhh ever get the feeling while ur driving 80mph to just turn into that concrete barrier?? thats the feeling my mom makes me have

^no thats suicidal...im not quite there yet with my parents....but its getting closer

She says its weird for a 21 year old girl to act like this way towars her mother and tell her NOTHING of whats going on in her life. and I dont see it weird. I just dont feel I need my mom to know whats going on. Shes not my friend..she raised me and thats good enough. I dont need my parents to be my best friends.

oh and PS

MOM IF YOURE READING THIS - HI!

u shouldnt have to tell her nething. When your 16 and a guy breaks your heart for the first time, yeah shes should be there to help. but at 21, thats what good old jack and cokes there for (minus the coke) and u have girlfriends for that too..

[saleeka]

/\ I agree. Once you are 21, it's pretty much on your terms what you want them to know... Kids aren't property....

[burneeed]

I cant move out for another 6 months atleast cuz i gotta get my bills paid off (which will be in 2 months) and save up cuz its expensive to live in the seattle area.

Plus ive moved out before and she snooped on 6gc to find out crap.

hey move to pittsburgh

[hurley97]

uhh ever get the feeling while ur driving 80mph to just turn into that concrete barrier?? thats the feeling my mom makes me have

my mom makes me feel the same way. although i believe my exact words to her were "you make me feel like walking in front of a bus" ... can't hurt the celi, you know lol

i've learned to ignore my mom when she talks. we speak when its necessary and as soon as she starts making stupid/unnecessary comments i walk away cause i know it will just upset me and arguing is useless. until moving out is an option, there isn't much else you can do. good luck

[jgreening]

Like it or not, when you live with your parents, there are things you have to put up with that you wouldn't have to if you lived on your own. I moved out at 18 because I was ready to be free. It hurt some as far as saving money is concerned but I would do it again in a heartbeat. Oh, and by the way, my relationship with my mom improved considerably.

One point of your problem does deserve some special attention. That is, some parents have a unending desire to tell their children how to live their life after age of majority. These people do not understand that unwelcomed advice drives their children away. While you should aim to be respectful, it is my FIRM opinion that you must have a serious sitdown discussion with her and tell her that you do not want unsolicited "tips" anymore. If the problem is not addressed now, I GUARANTEE it will get much worse.

The good news is that quality parents can offer persuasive suggestions to us when we stray down the wrong road without being insulting. So, even if your communication with her is effective, she can still have a positive influence on your life without creating unnecessary conflict.

[devilsden97]

uhh ever get the feeling while ur driving 80mph to just turn into that concrete barrier?? thats the feeling my mom makes me have

my mom makes me feel the same way. although i believe my exact words to her were "you make me feel like walking in front of a bus" ... can't hurt the celi, you know lol

i've learned to ignore my mom when she talks. we speak when its necessary and as soon as she starts making stupid/unnecessary comments i walk away cause i know it will just upset me and arguing is useless. until moving out is an option, there isn't much else you can do. good luck

you could always tell her to "take your advice and shove it up your ass" Thats a personal favorite of my own, just not with my parents. Usually i give them sarcastic remarks, and go on with whatever i was doing.

[bloodrain]

$5000 and a plane ride out there and you'll never have to worry about her again.... haha j/k (not rly)...j/k...


ya ur pretty much fcked as long as u live at home, same **** with me. Dad is almost the exact way but if he found out I had 8 guns he would of kicked me out by now

[BlackCelicaGT94]

uhh ever get the feeling while ur driving 80mph to just turn into that concrete barrier?? thats the feeling my mom makes me have

my mom makes me feel the same way. although i believe my exact words to her were "you make me feel like walking in front of a bus" ... can't hurt the celi, you know lol

i've learned to ignore my mom when she talks. we speak when its necessary and as soon as she starts making stupid/unnecessary comments i walk away cause i know it will just upset me and arguing is useless. until moving out is an option, there isn't much else you can do. good luck

I try to talk when only neccessary but then i seem to only be talking to her when i need money and thats not nice. I call her once a day while at work to make sure shes ok cuz she has MS and sometimes has seizures.

She always wants to talk to me though..i could care less that jessica Simpson gained 10 pounds or whatever but she just wants to talk and im like UHH LEAVE ME ALONE! oh well i guess ill just put up with this for another 6 months

[Consynx]

...sweeeeet

[97sccelica]

Dad is almost the exact way but if he found out I had 8 guns he would of kicked me out by now

hehe

the men in my family love guns.

as a joke i was walking around with one of my guns tucked in my belt, saying i was ready to greet my sister's prom date who was supposed to arrive in about 10 min.

my grandfather and his brother laughed hard, said i was a good man, and asked to see the gun. hell, everyone thought it was pretty funny, except my sister

and i did put the gun away when the prom date finally arrived.

now for the original topic

there pretty much is no privacy for me in my house. all my mail is opened before i get it, my mom always calls me to see where i am and gets mad when i forget to tell her that i am leaving. she wants to know every thing.

does it bother me, not really. i am 20 years old and im used to it. it bother's one of my friends, oddly enough. he is always telling me to make my mom stop. i really dont care, it makes her happy and comfortable to know where i am all the time. she never tries to stop me from doing anything, just tells me to be safe. that and as far as im conserned, if you are living at the expense of your parents, it doesnt matter how old you are, you are at their mercy.

[rayneezy23]

yea natalie like i know how you feel like i just turned 18 and like my parents are on my ass like crazy snoopin around in my room and yea. I seriously think that she just lost trust in me because my good friend that she knows got a DUI and like yea.

[hitcachi]

you could.................... join the military!

[BlackCelicaGT94]

^ i will live at home for the next 10 years if I have to rather than join the military