Turn offs Options

[lagos]

turn offs:

girls who have a male best friend.
girls that just turned 21 and are really into the bar scene.
girls who take pictures of themselves through the day (everyday) and later post it on myspace.

[BlackCelicaGT94]

Heres my turnoffs

1. guys friends with their exs. EX IS AN EX - move on.
2. guys who arent caring and dont make note that like i have a doc appt and then later ask how it went.
3. guys who think getting really really trashed is an ok thing to do - not attractive.
4. guys who wear emo jeans - uhh no thanks
5. guys who lie to me at all. Dont lie to me about stupid crap like "oh yeah i told my mom u said hi" and hten later I find out you didnt. Its just dumb and rediculous.
6. Guys who dont think holidays are a big deal - fine if u dont think so but hello im a girl and i do!

[Supersprynt]

If 100 men hurt me and I'm on to 101 then i obviously did not learn my lesson from my past 100 relationships so you basically negated what you said previously.

This was an example. It's easier to understand concepts when they are exaggerated, as oppose to say 2 or 3 guys. Same thing applies, its just easier to see if its a greater number. It wasn't meant to be taken literally.

Its a forum, theres no last word. I am simply replying. Antagonistic, of course. I do try my hardest. I'm a challenge. I always challenge people in what they say because they should always know how to back it up; even if I don't disagree with them. This isn't anything new, and its not something bad, just a little annoying.


Girls who don't like cars in general
Girls who don't stand up for themselves.
Girls who are stupid. (IE don't know anything interesting about anything.)

This post has been edited by Supersprynt: Jul 16, 2007 - 2:38 PM

[Borghe]

turn off:

- Stupid Girl

simple and easy!

[yarik83]

ok ok let me explain myself.

When a girl is getting into a relationship she assumes the fact that whoever she is committing to is priviledged with her presence. In many cases that is true.. in many cases it is not. In either case its built into female genes to do the following: be family oriented. You do not care about sex in ways men do, you do not care for things you find irrational from your perspective, you also do not look at a relationship from a guy perspective.

When a guy commits to a relationship he has one thing on his mind. Unless he is suffering from an illness, unless he is deformed, unless he is mentally retarded VERY first thing he expects is SEX. Yes that pesky little thing that satisfies his desire. He could be skinny, fat, greedy, generous, rich, poor and regardless of the race every self respecting male wants sex. When we get into a relationship thats a thing that we expect. We expect it now and preferably every day at 11 in the morning, 9 at night and then some in between on a lunch break. We do not want to marry a chick because one day we wake up and go ooooo oooo I want to marry her. We marry a chick because if we dont she will get all pissy and make a scene and everyone on her mothers side will hate you. And when we do propose first thing you do is stick your hand out to all your lady friends and advertise how much money your man spent on that ring. You shine ear to ear, have a honey moon then after 4.5 years into marriage it hits you that you married a guy just to be in a relationship and 4.5 years into a relationship your guy starts checking out other girls involuntarily.

So when I am saying that I have expectations I expect that If I provide my lady with a pretty good financial backup, pay her bills, help out her parents, buy a house, buy cars, pay for kids education and yada yada yada I would love to come home and pew pew the living brains out of my wife. Yes women are people too but in many cases (not all) your wife is not a doctor or a lawyer or a financial investor or a celebrity.. instead there are kids, childbirth, pregnancy, raising kids, kindergarden, after school, families over, trips to places among other things that generally imply that majority of income in a relationship comes from the guy's side.

Have I been married? No. Do I plan to have kids and get married? yes.

Have I had girlfriends? Yes on and off.. every kind from a book smart to a bisexual and it was always one of the following:
-perfect girl, smart beautiful, little sex
-so so girl, silly and pissing you off... lots of sex
-down the middle chickie chickie.... you are not in a relationship with her.. you are in a relationship with her mother and everyone else she talks to because her decisions are not of her own.

So please tell me how can I not be bitter when time after time after time and not just me but many people I know.. a relationship is like running on the tippy toes on a long razor blade. To the left is a lake with poo to the right is a lake with lava.. and blade hurts your feet along the way.. so no matter where you go from there its always grrr grrrrr grrrrr

[Supersprynt]

Cliffs?

[IntegraSEChick]

I agree with the girls who dont have any friends but you part but its tough. My two friends I grew up with in high school always ditched me for their boyfriends but now that were older and all in relationships we understand eachothers situations and realize that we either spend time with that person or like to be alone and if our schedules all match up to hang out then great but if not were not sitting here saying "ur a poopy friend cuz u dont hang with me" i hate people like that. Its like hello were over the age of 18 im pretty sure we can all understand that life happens. Personally I have a boyfriend who lives 2 hours away so my weekends are spent with him and on weekdays I work 8 - 11 hour days so after work I dont like to do much but chill and if my friends cant accept that i dont really have weekends to hang with them or on weekdays that I have to work alot and dont wanna go out and do something really active and would rather go to a dive bar and get a beer or catch a movie then TOO DAMN BAD! lol

anyways...i just really wanted to say i hate little dogs. Kinda went off in a different direction for a second

kinda harsh coming from someone who once said they didn't want to be the "person who ditches their friends when they get in a relationship"

[ILuvMyCelica95]

I started to write a whole response to this, but then i realized where I am and that the majority of the members on this forum will agree with you because IMO your maturity level isn't at a point where you can handle a REAL relationship.

I will say though that you shouldnt say things like all women are the same. We aren't beleive me i am NOTHING like whatever it is you are trying to describe.

Good luck finding some worthless woman who will lie on her back for you. You're never going to be satisfied because youre priorities are ****ed up.



Erik- I know. You are a royal PITA.

I think perhaps I'll stay off the boards for a while.

[Supersprynt]

Who are u addressing?

[uberschall]

a-a-a-and one more shot at steering us back to topic:

my compendium of gargantuan turn-offs:

-smoking
-girls that wear waaaaaayyyy too much makeup
-girls that bite their nails, chew or twirl their hair, or chomp their gum
-girls that can't see and appreciate an honest effort even if it doesn't turn out right
-girls that compare you to previous boyfriends
-the compulsive need to buy useless s**t just because it's on sale
-telling me how to wear my hair, etc
-the ever-mysterious "going out dancing" thing that can under no circumstances include me
-girls that want to pick their own engagement ring
-girls that talk about wanting kids waaaaayy before it's even remotely appropriate
-girls that have a creepy "stricly platonic" male friend who never seems to go away
-girls that only want you around to keep away their psycho exes
-the seeming lack of emotional independence that manifests itself as the inability to make decisions alone, irresponsibility with money, and excessive drama
-girls that wake you up at 2 in the morning to say they want to go out to breakfast after sex
-confrontational tendencies
-girls who call themselves b**ches
-girls that don't know how to dress or behave their age/body type
-girls that can't ride a bike, sleep in a tent, drink coffee or beer, or enjoy a good sunset
-lactose intolerance and/or other ridiculous food allergies
-lack of culture
-general rudeness

yes, i spent a LONG time on that. there are probably more, too.

whew.

[yarik83]

she was talking to me and addressing my reply. well 2 of my replies.

Where she is having a difficulty is right at the point of where she stands in life. Being young and all places Tina and me in different boats. I seen Tina in person during our NY meet she seemed like a sweet and funny outgoing person. However what I am getting at is not easy to understand from a girls perspective.

I am not a "boyfriend" because of my finanical income I am a head of household. There is a very big difference between a boyfriend and a person with money. Boyfriends often live separately, meet you several times per week.. a head of household is a person you wake up next to and live together with and have him as financial backup.

Unlike many people here I was not born in USA, although I am a citizen.. I was not born to a family who payed for all my expenses and let me live with them till I was 24. I was not born to a family in which my biological parents and my relatives on one page. As a matter of fact most of my family requires some serious psychiatric evaluation on my mothers side and my fathers side. I have not seen my father for over 15 years, I have not had a father figure for 20 years. I do have a step father who does not respect me in ways a father would. I left my parents at age of 15 not speaking a word of english. I lived in a junkyard car for a year and worked on 3 job while finishing high school. I was also involved in 3 jobs throughout my college and every single job I had.. and I had over 30 jobs over the years. I had not received help paying for school nor any financial help.. so......

When I seeked female companionship I found it in every shape and form between ages 15 and 24. And to my demise there was never a win win situation.

A girl dreams of a guy arriving on a white horse, resquing her and yada yada they lived happily ever after. In my life.. as in many other guys lives we get into a relationship and it often sucks. Quite often we get this money suckling not having any sence lady who meets our sexual needs or we get this mrs perfect kiss me on the cheek every other wednesday mrs smarty pants.

I am a bitter person because of how my past relationships worked out. They all sucked. Now I take a more direct approach and remain a bachelor. Its easier that way. Also more economical. By not having a "girlfriend" I save about 200+++++ every month. No gifts, no going out and paying for dinner, no flowers, no covering someone else's tab, no money missing from my wallet and no problems at all.

So what I do do is go out.. meet chicks.. make a trip to walgreens woot woot go home and sleep like a baby with all bases covered for the day.

This post has been edited by yarik83: Jul 16, 2007 - 11:03 PM

[yarik83]

I had to add this. I could not sleep because I had this on my mind and well I think its neccesary to elaborate on relationships.

A relationship is a type of human interaction in which 2 people take their friendship to intimate levels.

In a man-female relationship a boyfriend represents the "other half" so to speak, so does the lady. In a tipycal relationship between people of ages 12-25 it is not uncommon that a pair does not live together nor shares bills. In many cases each lives with parents and or roommates but away from each other. What that provides is a safety cushion between the two.. a little space of their own.. something of a refuge from each other in which if needed they could alienate themselves to think things through and come back to a relationship the day after a big fight and make up like nothing happened pver a cup of starbucks coffe and a donut from au bon pain.

Then there is a relationship in which the two live with each other under the same roof as if they were a married couple. There are often bills involved, insurance policies and other finanical ties that bond the two without actual certificate of marriage. In this particular type of relationship two people live together, sleep together in the same bed, do their thing together, come back home and yada yada. Somewhere in that particular relationship little things start to add up. You may live in a perfectly harmonius relationship but little things really tick you off, such as her toothbrush always in the way or lady items right next to your folgers coffee or her misplacing keys or living a towel a bit to the right. Essentially it trickles somewhere deep inside your brain that you need to air your feelings out.. but you dont and when you do get into a fight you have no escape. Both of you live together often away from family and friends and its not like you can walk outside and sleep over at your friends house. She sends him on a couch.. he says things he should not say. She comes back with a whitty remark that sends him off the edge such as his habbit of saying ummm in between phrases. So he comes back and starts airing out every little thing. 3 days later there is dead silence in the house with both of you looking at the kitchen knives and a hanging frying pan and wondering how cool would it be to end it there and now. Eventually you work it out.. but before you do you spend 3 days sleeping in same bed with backs to each other, make weird sounds and give dirty looks as you pass each other in the hallway... when you do make up its not the same as if you were living separately. Your fight has embedded itself on your relationship and is like a cup of tar in a barrel of honey and every fight there after will only escalade cause you start fighting over really stupid things such as her buying a tic tac thing at the register. And there is no escape. There you sre back in your apartment or house punting at each other and knowing that you can not break up just like that because you have join bills and that he or she is really not that bad but you really hate them 3 hours of the day 7 days per week. You go to your folks house for a dinner and pretend like you are having a blast living together and being a couple when in fact under the table you feel her stepping on your toe to make you tell lies at the table. You go home at it still lingers. You are not married but after living together for 2 years it feels like you are. Then and there you know what relationship is all about.

What Tina addressed as immaturity is a common misconseption and a very understandable one. Immaturity is a relative term and applies to any kind of situation. For example I could say that my mother is immature for not listening to people's advice.. but yet she is 45 with 3 kids.. so where does that place her on the scale? My old neighbor was really versed in mathematics but he was only 10.. does that make him immature because he is underaged or overly mature because he is a scientific phenomenon?

Only way to finalize my post is to remind that readiness of being in a relationship and actually being in one represent 2 aspects of what relationship is all about. That little thing where 2 people kinda date and see each other casually does not even come close to people who are basically confined within boundaries of their house, finances and better half.

I hope this should cover any further questions.

[IGloo]

Well, actually, I have a couple of questions...

1. I simply resent the fact that most of the facts you use to back up your claims are in some relation connected to "money"...WTF is that all about?

2. Speaking from a point of a 31 years old man (damn, this sounds awkward ), who is in a relationship for almost 5 years, I must tell you that from my point of view, you´re wrong! So, as ILuvMyCelica95 explained very well (and I agree), the maturity level at a certain age really IS an issue to be dealt with. Don´t you agree?

3. (OK, this is not a question )
I´ve also had some 10-or so relationships from my earlier years up until now, but I would be a complete moron to say that they sucked (otherwise, why was I involved in all of those relationships)...
Those relationships were simply functioning along within the borders set by my age and expeirence (yes, ofcourse that sex is the most important thing on a boy´s mind when the boy is in puberty ).
Naturally, they all broke simply because one evolves further, whilst the other remains at a current level! Believe me, that is perfectly natural, and if you think that "picking a tab" or something as trivial as that has anything to do with your break-ups so far, you´re again dead wrong!

4. When did this thread derail from a simple and funny RL thoughts about turn-offs, to a "Dr. Phil" sort of bullsXXt material that sucks?



Can´t we all just get along?

[yarik83]

To answer your questions I would like to mainly concentrate on financial ties. I am not sure how things are in Croatia, but in usa the concept of living together does not just imply living together. In usa you need medical insurance, then you need car insurance, then you have bills to pay for including tv, internet, phone, you have other things to worry about as well such as buying essentials for life and more expensive stuff such as furtniture and electronics. So somewhere down the road you stop and think. How am I to pay for it all? In america there are 2 options to get money. One involves taking out a loan from a bank and second one involves saving for years and years. So basically with loans behind you for things like college, furniture, car payments etc etc. It all piles up into the wonderful thing you call adult life. Its also fun and games if you are managing credit card bills and other bills for yourself rather than for 2 people. You are not married but yet you often find yourself having to pay for 2 people. Yes there are 2 incomes but for 2 young people thats often not enough.. so what happens is that you start catching yourself adding the "little things" for example your phone bill starts getting bigger and since no self respecting parent would pay for a cellphone bill of their child who is grown up and lives with a partner you start combining things. You get a shared plan for both of you. Then there are other things like neccesity for tv and internet among other things. Then college bills and med insurance bills to cover... then something else. So you find your paycheck cut from x to x-14% (for government taxes)-75%(bills)-rest of it is left on you. Then you realise that your love'd one's income does not cover tuition all too well and frankly it does not cover many things because her hopes of being a non profit what you may call it.. dont work out too well. So you start paying for that.. then you buy 2 cars and pay for that and insurance then you definetly need a bed, a tv, chairs, a table, silverware, kitchen appliances, towels, toilet paper etc etc etc. And somewhere down the road you catch yourself thinking,, why am I under 24 and have bills that of a married 30 year old? So financial side is always there. If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend havent gone through that yet... ohh trust me you will. It hits you like a truck and if you dont pay there are consiquences.

To answer your question about maturity. I never had the opportunity to have a unconditional girlfriend whereby I have nothing to worry about. I never did. I skipped all that and moved straight on to adult life because when you live in a different country on your own that is something that you do. And eventually female compationship that you do encounter starts showing up at your place more than once per week, then she kinda sleeps over a few times, then she kinda moves in then you kinda start sharing bills then she kinda gets comfortable living not paying rent and start using your credit card. Then you ask her for money to help pay for things.. she gets either pissy about it or accepts it.. and in either case you are either not having enough money to keep up with consumeristic tendencies of your other half or just holding on to your pants and hoping there will be no extra bills to pay. Living in america is har for a young adult, its especially hard for young adults who get no help.
Before I run off to work here is a perfect example about some of my past experiences. You walk into a store to buy tooilet paper. 3 mins later you come out with toilet paper.
You send your lady there and she comes out 45 mins later with toilet paper, socks, slippers, sun glasses, a plant, pillow cases, a loveseat rug, completely forgets toilet paper but buys laundry detergent and grabs a magazine on her way out.

-same thing applies to running phone bills up or backing up into an old ladys car, leaving her info (because old lady was not there)and calling cops so that your insurance skyrockets. Just to name a few.

This post has been edited by yarik83: Jul 17, 2007 - 6:00 AM

[IGloo]

Well...FYI, if I had the chance, I´d come to USA in a flash!
The economy is better, the lifestyle is hard work-little play, but I can handle that with no problem!
Also, the money that you earn (doing what I do over here as a chief graphic designer for the biggest newspaper agency in Croatia) is about 10 or more times more than what I earn in a month (about 600 Euro to be precise), and with that salary I cannot imagine buying myself a car that is less than 10 years old, so a place to live is about equal to science fiction! I´m currently planing to buy an appartment on a 30 year payment basis, in which the single month costs me about half of my paycheck!

For example; to do something as trivial as registering/insuring my car for one measely year, you have to part with more than 300 Euro (which is half my monthly sallary)!
Get the picture?

The economy itself is more corrupt than America in the prohibition times, so needless to say, only criminals and crooks have money here...while the rest of us live in one giant grey area, where we get along as we can...and still I survive, have plans, and enjoy every day as it was my last! WITH my girlfriend (who is btw still in college, so she makes no money whatsoever), and I still manage to be with her every day!
And she well deserves it (with all my troubles at work and in private)!
So, your money-love paralell really makes no sense to me, since over here, everything that you buy, insure and own is about million times more expensive than anything that you can possibly imagine!

I love my girlfriend, I never complain about not having money, and it never affected my feelings for her.
I also never put costs in front of a good time that I have with her (or in general)...even if we shared a same cup of coffee because we can´t afford two!
I know that your thoughts are different than mine, and I can understand that! I also don´t blame you for thinking the way you are...after all, we´re all only human, and every one of us has a different idea how some things are to be, but putting a price tag on emotions is generally wrong...whatever country you live in, or what ever religion you are! That I know for sure!
If you love somebody, and you feel that you belong with her, then you´ll never think about how much it costs...materially or emotionally!
Obviously I am lucky to know and accept that...and I´m really sorry for the fact that not everyone has what I have as far as being with somebody is concerned!

This post has been edited by IGloo: Jul 17, 2007 - 6:26 AM

[devilsden97]

-girls that have a creepy "stricly platonic" male friend who never seems to go away
-the seeming lack of emotional independence that manifests itself as the inability to make decisions alone,
-confrontational tendencies
-girls that can't ride a bike, sleep in a tent, drink coffee or beer, or enjoy a good sunset
-lack of culture
-general rudeness

I agree 100% with this list, this dudes got his priorities in order.

And seriously, if this thread doesnt get back on track ASAP, its gonna get locked REAL QUICK. So I would suggest everyone stops the personal attacks, and accepts the fact that everyone has different opinions and views. Just because You don't believe there is a santa, doesnt mean I cant. (would have used more relevent information, but at the risk of being accused of taking sides, the santa analogy will have to do.)

This post has been edited by devilsden97: Jul 17, 2007 - 11:34 AM

[IGloo]

I agree!

...and since we´re at Santa...what are your major Santa turn-offs?

-too long beard
-tendency to hang out in shopping malls during the time of festivities
-eating too damn much
-never wearing anything but red
-and what kind of stupid name is that?!?




(OMG, I´m laughing my aXX off)

[Sh0gunkid8721]

TURNOFFS

girl with a stache
girl with hairy legs
girl with hairy tongue
girl with hairy pits
girl with unibrow
girl with bad breath
BO
girl thats too tall
slutty girl
butch girl
girl with no sense of humor
girl that doesnt know how to dress
girl with no ambitions
overconfidence
retarded girls
girl that hates sports
nonactive girl
girl that hates art
girl that cant hang with the guys
girl with bad temper
insensitive girl
high maintenance girl
prissy girl
girl that talks too much
girl with an annoying laugh
girl thats too dependant
girl that doesnt trust
girl thats too clingy
girl that wears socks with flip flops (im serious)
girl that cant hold a conversation
girl with no education

[Valo666]

chicks who spent more of DADDY'S money in a 24hour period then they have of there own, in there entire life.

x2. my ex gf was like that. Her parents bought her a 2003 RSX for her 17th b-day for her first car. She bought everything on her parents credit card. We went out to the mall one day to get just a cd, she came out of there with a $800 bill on her credit card because she decided to by 4 pairs of jeans and a 2 t-shirts and a sweater. She needed them as "work clothes for her mom" selling tickets to somethin. Sure enough within 40 min of buyin them, she cut the shoulders off to make it slutty already.

1. guys friends with their exs. EX IS AN EX - move on.

Whats wrong with being friends with an ex?? 97% of my ex girl friends were good friends b4 we started going out and we kept being friends afterwards. Im still friends with all of my exs except my last one. Hell, my gf right now has been my ex 3 different times..lol


Any ways, my turns offs are

Girls who want you to change who you are, aka they want me to shave my beard, dress a different way, listen to different music...pretty much be some one im not.

Girls who dont like the same music as me - i HATE it when im driving and listening to my music and a girl will go over and turn on like kelly clarkson or some crap like that

girls who are overly religous - Im all for choise in religon, but when they try and convert me into a catholic or christian or w/e, bugs me. I have my one belifes, and i dont want some one trying to force theirs onto me.

Girls who dont like tattoos - personaly, i like tattoos, im planning on gettin alot more, and it sucks when a girl doesnt like tattoos.

Girls who cant drive - aka girls who think they can drive fast or well, but they really cant. My ex used to weave in and out of trafic and drive going like 200km/h cuz she thought it was fun, but she barely knew how to drive. sure enough she got run off the road and flipped her rsx 3 times about a year and a half ago, she was fine walked out of it with a few scratches, but her car was written off.

stupidity and ignorance - i know too many ignorant people in the world and they really piss me off. I knew a girl back in my rez at college who was the biggest bigget ever. She didnt like any sort of oriental person what so ever because she thinks they dont know how to speak english and refuse to learn. So pretty much she didnt like an entire race because they came from their home country to canada, and decided they still wanna keep their native tounge and still learn english.

Im actually not that picky when it comes to girls, theres just some little things that really bug me.