BUNCH OF BS, Need someone to talk to...... Options

[celiracer]

I really need someone to talk to right now. I've been dating my g/f for 3 1/2 years. And I just found out that she has feelings for someone else. She says that she doesn't know what she wants right now. And doesn't know if she wants me or this other person. I have no idea what to do. I love her so much, and she means everything to me. She also says that she still cares for me and still loves me. But doesn't know what to do. what should i do? And what does everyone else think about this situation?

[FoREpLayAX]

My rule of thumb my entire life, never be a choice. If she wants/thinks she wants someone else, then you become an option and not THE option. Just how I've always looked at it.

[x_itchy_b_x]

give her time, dont pressure her, if you let her go and she comes back then shes yours. if not then realize life is long and you have plenty of time to deal with girls later. something like that.

[manphibian]

give her time, dont pressure her, if you let her go and she comes back then shes yours. if not then realize life is long and you have plenty of time to deal with girls later. something like that.

^^^ good advice, imo you need a break. If it's meant to be she'll realize and come back, and that way you will know for sure that she wants you. Otherwise you will always be wondering.

sometimes people think the grass is greener elsewhere, but soon find that it isn't.

[fastgt]

If my gf told me that after our 5 years together, i would let her go...if shes not happy enough, and she starts thinking about other guys obviously shes not the one for me

[cHinaman727]

give her time, dont pressure her, if you let her go and she comes back then shes yours. if not then realize life is long and you have plenty of time to deal with girls later. something like that.

^^^ good advice, imo you need a break. If it's meant to be she'll realize and come back, and that way you will know for sure that she wants you. Otherwise you will always be wondering.

sometimes people think the grass is greener elsewhere, but soon find that it isn't.

i would hate that. having to think about the girl you spend the majority of your time thinking about, being with someone else is too much to bear.

If my girlfriend told me she had feelings for someone else, I would have to give her the boot though. Be glad she told you outright.
---

In response to itchy, I think hes right about the no pressure bit, but as far as giving her time, I think that is wrong.

3.5 years is a LONG time, but there are 1002314702173817239816049619823961312312 more women out there. Many probably will make you happier than her.

[axelrduvirage]

how old are you?

15-18...walk away
18-21...ask her what she wants of you
21-25...walk away
25+...ask her what she wants of you, then walk away laughing

relationships are meant to be tried and swapped and retried.

[Jlacker3]

All good advice...but I think you should walk away. You may not want to because you'll feel like you've wasted 3 1/2 years. You havent though! You gotta look at everything in life as an experience that builds your character and can make you a better person. That's how people get wise!

If you two were truly in love she wouldn't even be questioning your relationship. I've dated girls. And I've been married now for over a year. Someone will come along that will realize they'll want to be with you forever no questions asked (unless one of you cheats on each other) which, in my eyes, your GF is doing.

She also could be saying she loves you and cares about you b/c she wants to keep you around if her new interest doesn't turn out...

It's ultimately up to you...but remember if she is interested in someone else now, what is going to stop her from being interested in someone else later down the line. That's an immaturity issue. TRUST ME, if you hang around your just gonna be putting yourself in for more hurt.

Dont' ever EVER let a girl mean EVERYTHING to you. I love my wife to death. But if something ever happened to me I would want her to have someone else and she is the same way about me. She's 9 months pregnat with our 1st child. We put God first, each other/family, then work. There are tons of ways to occupy your time to get your mind off of her.

The bottom line is "she doesn't know what she wants right now" which means "she doesn't know if she wants to be with you anymore" People "love and care" for their mother's. If she "doesn't know what to do", then she doesn't really love and care for you in the same way you do anymore.

Just walk away, man. It'll be hard at first, but way worth when you meet a girl that is actually COMPLETELY in love with you.

Hope this helps!

Sincerely
Dr. McLovin
(lol j/k)

[m0dd3d1]

how old are you?

15-18...walk away
18-21...ask her what she wants of you
21-25...walk away
25+...ask her what she wants of you, then walk away laughing

relationships are meant to be tried and swapped and retried.

Harsh.

Dude, you've been with her for 3 1/2 years, that's a long time. People get bored with each other and they want something new and exciting. If she's thinking about someone else, then she just wants something new. If you guys go on a break or split, she'll go find that something new, and then come back to what feels comfortable. You. That's my experience. Also my experience: you'll probably not be there to pick her back up again, but don't worry, it's not your fault. At that point you can say: F-her.

She pretty much boned herself, b/c now you can't really trust her after this b/c you'll never know if there is someone else, even when she says there's not.

This post has been edited by m0dd3d1: Sep 4, 2007 - 7:08 PM

[xs94st]

if she has feelings for someone else..IMHO give her the boot. or, yall can just take a 'break' n see wtf happens. i duno how i would feel if my gf had feelings for another person. honestly, i duno what you should do. spontaneity is something that a relationship should have so that neither of you get bored or start looking elsewhere. how did she meet this other person? did she try to look for someone else? or did it all just happen? you gotta talk to her n figure out what she wants cuz if she truly wants to be with the other person, you should just let her go.

x2 for itchy n china. i believe that if a girl needs to think about it, no problem. but time just makes it harder for both of you

3.5 years is a long time.



if you are young.

if you are 30 or older, i guess you should try n keep the peace n stay together. if you are younger, its all good. 3.5 years outta your entire life..its a speed bump, sayin its time to slow down n try other shiite out. im only 20. i got my gf. she wants to marry me. i want to marry her. but hell, who knows.

shiite happens man, you just gotta wipe it off n keep on truckin.

lol. i want to click add reply but i cant cuz im trynta think of some more stuff..

i think you should ask yourself, 'can i see myself married to this girl for the rest of my life? with kids? gettin old together?'

[Blakout16]

its okay, just tell yourself she's the older model - trade her in for a new'er sexier looking one. they have higher resell value.

[FreddyTheOthaMea...]

Id split, if she really loved you then another guy wouldnt even be a factor.

[giang723]

just have some quiet time to yourself and have a think over the current situation, only you know what you need to do, sometimes it might be best to follow your brain than to follow your heart.



on a lighter note, did i say your car is awesome? wanna trade with mine?

This post has been edited by giang723: Sep 4, 2007 - 10:07 PM

[zachattack15]

Reading this brings back bad memories!

[CelicaST_CALI]

ya y dont u drive ur car to his house...

[yarik83]

just an fyi and because i have bloodshot eyes im not able to type up my tipycal 9 paragraph reply but here it goes/

IF A LADY TOLD YOU THERE MIGHT BE SOMEONE ELSE AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

tHat MEANS

She had sex with that person. And sex was obviously good because if it was not she would not be considering. Or if sex was bad it was a size of the wallet that may have attracted her.

draw your conclusions based off that.

[97Celica]

more importantly...how old is SHE? Girls under the age of 25 have their heads up their butts...Do you live with her? Do you have a career?

[BlackCelicaGT94]

just an fyi and because i have bloodshot eyes im not able to type up my tipycal 9 paragraph reply but here it goes/

IF A LADY TOLD YOU THERE MIGHT BE SOMEONE ELSE AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

tHat MEANS

She had sex with that person. And sex was obviously good because if it was not she would not be considering. Or if sex was bad it was a size of the wallet that may have attracted her.

draw your conclusions based off that.

lol thats not true. i agree with what someoen else said - people always think teh grass is greener on the other side.

Also, im not sure how old you are but she may just be scared that this could be a forever thing and doesnt want regrets of not seeing what else is out there.

Id give her props for tellign u the truth and not lying and then finding out later that it may have been someone else.

[JoKeRkId613]

just an fyi and because i have bloodshot eyes im not able to type up my tipycal 9 paragraph reply but here it goes/

IF A LADY TOLD YOU THERE MIGHT BE SOMEONE ELSE AND SHE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO.

tHat MEANS

She had sex with that person. And sex was obviously good because if it was not she would not be considering. Or if sex was bad it was a size of the wallet that may have attracted her.

draw your conclusions based off that.

i agree with the above. that girl is banging the other guy and shes confused.

[x_itchy_b_x]

i wouldn't jump to conclusions, that can cause more problems. but if she did then id drop her like a hot potato...