I think I need help.., Do I need zoloft or something? Options

[monkeywrench]

I think I may be one of those people who needs to have an antidepressant to be happy, or maybe I've got the permanent teen-blues. Heres my problem, there are things in life that make me happy, but most people could care less either way (I think).

Things in life that make me happy: being in a stable relationship (having my guy tell me he loves me and all), adjusting to a new envrionment (everytime I changed schools in my academic career), making new friends, purchasing material things (you know how that is- ie, 'ooh wow! a jumbo pack of coloring pecils!'), driving a different car for a day (like driving my mom's Cougar to school one day)

Things in life that make me sad: being single, finally having been used to my 'new' environment, finally getting used to a car and seeing one on the road that's totally awesome, seeing other couples make out wether or not I'm with someone,

I've recently figured that the reason Im so harsh on myself (thinking of myself as a worthless piece of trash) is because I want to distract myself from something else that bothers me more. If you looked at my family, there's no real reason for me to get down on myself but I've done it forever and I can't stop. If I've been happy for maybe a week straight and something gets me down, I stay down. Is it like I need to learn to like myself? the only times I do, are when someone likes me or when I do something good and get praised for it. Also, when I think about stuff, I think really hard about all possible outcomes and take them to the harshest level and take that as my answer. Since I was little ive been picked on for my family's financial status or my height (I'm 17, 85lbs and 4'11''-the doc said im healthy).

What do you think? Am i messed up and need help or is this normal for a 17 year old?

[808celica]

perfectly normal

[MaskedMan]

perfectly normal

Agreed.

[Random_Stranger]

Typical for a 17yr old boy. If you need someone to talk to or ask questions though, you can rely on me to give you the best possible advice based upon my own experiences. Although I am sure you have someone you can talk to. I usually find myself having friends a lot younger than me and they always ask my advice.



Being with someone when you are in a state like this is only seeking evaluation into adulthood. People tend to forget that being a boy and having an insecure woman DOES NOT EVALUATE YOU INTO A MAN and or vice versa for a female. The things that build you into one is the lessons in life, and eventually you will discover when it hits you, when you have became a man or a woman. Sometimes it takes many mistakes, sometimes you just grow into it, but never let anyone other than yourself evaluate you into the becoming of man or woman. You decide when you are ready when you feel it hit you.

You have problems right now and you are becoming an adult. You are still trying to find yourself and who you will be the rest of your life. You are unstable, but you will later become comfortable as you try new things and see the world. You are in transition to a child to adult. Right now, you have to still live somewhat like a child, but with the becoming of an adult mind, and this is very conflicting. Hang in there, and you will soon see what your elders have been speaking of when you didn't want to listen. Your heart will swell and you will fall in love with life. You will find yourself staring more at the stars in wonder, the mountains, and appreciating that beautiful scent after a rain.

I dunno where this is all coming from, lol. I guess from my own discoveries. Hang in there.

This post has been edited by Random_Stranger: Nov 1, 2008 - 5:40 AM

[RickJamesBish]

Wait, you're gay?

[CAMAricer]

High school is so....childish. Face it, those of us who are in our mid 20's or early 30's know what life is really about. Kids in high school are idiots. Jocks/cheerleaders turn into cashiers or baggers in grocery stores while nerds that get picked on become engineers or doctors, buy nice cars, marry trophy wives, own homes, live a good life. College/work is where life really begins.

Yeah, life seems terrible as a teenager. Just know it gets better later. You've got a lot of good years ahead of you to enjoy life.

*OP may be a girl, re-read the post, never mentions what gender he/she is. Also, 4'11" and only 85 pounds? Yeah, sounds like a girl to me...

I think I may be one of those people who needs to have an antidepressant to be happy, or maybe I've got the permanent teen-blues. Heres my problem, there are things in life that make me happy, but most people could care less either way (I think).

Things in life that make me happy: being in a stable relationship (having my guy tell me he loves me and all), adjusting to a new envrionment (everytime I changed schools in my academic career), making new friends, purchasing material things (you know how that is- ie, 'ooh wow! a jumbo pack of coloring pecils!'), driving a different car for a day (like driving my mom's Cougar to school one day)

Things in life that make me sad: being single, finally having been used to my 'new' environment, finally getting used to a car and seeing one on the road that's totally awesome, seeing other couples make out wether or not I'm with someone,

I've recently figured that the reason Im so harsh on myself (thinking of myself as a worthless piece of trash) is because I want to distract myself from something else that bothers me more. If you looked at my family, there's no real reason for me to get down on myself but I've done it forever and I can't stop. If I've been happy for maybe a week straight and something gets me down, I stay down. Is it like I need to learn to like myself? the only times I do, are when someone likes me or when I do something good and get praised for it. Also, when I think about stuff, I think really hard about all possible outcomes and take them to the harshest level and take that as my answer. Since I was little ive been picked on for my family's financial status or my height (I'm 17, 85lbs and 4'11''-the doc said im healthy).

What do you think? Am i messed up and need help or is this normal for a 17 year old?

This post has been edited by CAMAricer: Nov 3, 2008 - 3:00 AM

[MaskedMan]

Well this line right here gave me the impression it was a girl. "Things in life that make me happy: being in a stable relationship (having my guy tell me he loves me and all)".

4'11" and 85lbs is perfectly fine. At least you aren't 4'11" and 180lbs (my apologies to anyone here to meets that description, for those of you who do, hey, at least you aren't 4'11" and weigh 280lbs. [and for those of you who meet THAT description, well... I have nothing to tell you]).

CAMAricer is right. After highschool, nothing that happened matters anymore. It doesn't matter who you were, who your friends were, what your "label" was, or who made fun of you. The only thing that carries on after HS are your grades. Being 17 is tough AT THE TIME. Once you are past that point, even at 18, you'll realize how easy it actually was. It just depends on when you learn to accept yourself for you who are and how the world really is. Just feel better about yourself without depending on other people to make you feel good, because those people who make you feel good have the ability to make you feel completely worthless too.

This post has been edited by MaskedMan: Nov 3, 2008 - 3:17 AM

[Random_Stranger]

4'11" 85lbs, could also be a male, haven't you seen Simon Birch?

This post has been edited by Random_Stranger: Nov 3, 2008 - 12:56 PM

[Supersprynt]

You don't need zoloft, at all. Zoloft is for chronic depression due to chemical imbalances. You have low self esteem and case of the teenagitis.

Right now your body & mind are hardly working together with the rapid change your going through. I think you need to some introspection and figure out why you dislike yourself, why you do it, realize it's silly to think that way, and start to develop some self esteem, because you can't rely on other people for it. It's nice to hear things like: I love you, great job, well done your great etc etc but don't rely on them to make you happy.

[x_itchy_b_x]

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

[monkeywrench]

For those of you who are confused, yes I am a girl. How do I learn to like myself? I was talking to a friend of mine (a 40 year old 'father figure' to my latest ex-boyfriend) about how hopeless I felt after the breakup (and that's starting go go away, im getting over him faster than I thought) and he told me I should be finding myself and getting into my element. What exactly does that mean?

[MaskedMan]

Basically, instead of concentrating on relationships and how other people see you, you need to look into yourself and find out who you are before you can be happy with your life. You need to learn to be able to stand on your own two feet and not feel so helpless when other people aren't there for you. Break ups can be tough, but they always happen for a reason, so all you can do is learn from them.

There's no magic way to learn to like yourself, but a lot of it in going to happen in the next 2 years when you learn to accept yourself. I don't have any secret program to follow, but it's just life and it will happen if you give it time.

[Supersprynt]

For those of you who are confused, yes I am a girl. How do I learn to like myself? I was talking to a friend of mine (a 40 year old 'father figure' to my latest ex-boyfriend) about how hopeless I felt after the breakup (and that's starting go go away, im getting over him faster than I thought) and he told me I should be finding myself and getting into my element. What exactly does that mean?

It's not so much of a learning, as it is a realization. You will realize what your strengths are, what makes you happy and your element is a combination of those two.

It won't happen in high school. Too many social pressures in a closed community really changes how people would behave and think compared to how they would if they were on their own. You will rapidly change after high school.

[monkeywrench]

I can't think of anything that would be my strength, except for being good at being an asshole. I'm only good at writing poetry when I'm miserable. I guess I'll find out all this stuff when I'm out of highschool like you said, Supersprynt.

[Supersprynt]

If you don't have one yet it's because you haven't found out yet. Don't worry; life comes in waves. High points and troughs.

[Rayme]

I will say its hard to counsell a teenager unless your an expert, and its "normal" to try to find who you are. What do I mean by that? I dont know, for myself I am just not the same at all, just better.

I gotta ask you, why do beign single seems sad to you? Learn to be a strong individual, you don't need someone to love or use as a crutch for your life. What happens if you "hate" being single is you'll fall into any potential relationship and get bad ones. Take your time, enjoy being single, find the good things about it (ohh yes.. I think there is more pluses at being single than in a relationship, but dont say that to my GF).

You are NOT of a lesser person because you have no lovers. When you grow older you'll look back and wonder why you were so "sad" as teenage years is almost like being an adult with no responsabilities .

This post has been edited by Rayme: Nov 4, 2008 - 5:03 PM

[Stambo]

I went through this a couple of years ago, except really bad depression lets leave it at that. I went and got help, talk to a bunch of other kids in the same boat as me. Started to learn that everyone is different, and no one really knows what normal is.

[nats_celica]

hey you probably dnt know me well no wait u actually don't... Just some advice i heard from a little birdie sitting on a twig was it helps to talk to professionals and get an outsiders perspective like what you've done now and, I'm in the same boat as u and got told you can never forgive what u will never forget... Letting your grudges out helps because then u somewhat feel like "phew i feel a whole lot lighter now" and yea sometimes wen u down you only see the negative in your life and don't focus on the positive... Here's a little thing i thought maybe you could try. u don't have to but it works.

Take a big piece of white paper and sticky tape it to your wall... Then whenever you feel like someone has said something that made you feel better or something that you liked wearing because it made u feel sexy or something that you saw made u happy... Just write it all down stick your favourite things on it and never write the bad stuff because unlike when your sad, when your happy you forget about the sad stuff but when your sad all you can think of about is (guessing you probably think the same as me) and you think " w.t.f is wrong me why do i act like this, no wonder no one likes me, I'm just a piece of ****" then what u do is u go and sit in a your room and u look at that lovely poster you made and you go read and wen your sad and thinking know one likes u, read the thing that those "no ones" have said that have made you feel good... Learn to be in control and control your mind don't let it control you... You say wen u wanna be sad and if u train your mind to think positively you will turn out a lot happier trust me... I know its not as easy as i say it is because I know how it feels but its something u got to do think of it as inspiration. Once again u don't need a guy to tell u he loves you that's just an added bonus be happy with yourself before you try to be happy with someone else and you'll see that you'll slowly stop processing those out comes in your head... Another good technique is when you are angry and frustrated and mad as hell try counting from 0 to 100 and then back again... Always amazes me how concentrated you gotta be and your mind starts focusing on the numbers and nothing else... Because until your calm you don't know how the situations look take a step back, breathe and start counting, on the added side it helps train your brain to listen to you not others and improves your maths at the same time... I guess there is nothing much to say but use tht pretty poster you need to make and be like OK that day i liked wearing this and i liked it wen someone said "hey you look gorgeous" then sit there and think "look there is one person that does care... The funny thing is the person u don't think cares sometimes cares the most and just cant show it. so next time stop and think " I'm gonna pop this negative bubble of mine I'm going to blast the radio to full ball put on my coolest clothing and be a girl dance!!!! helps deal with frustrations a lot better than bottling them up inside because one day that bottle will be come full and it will shatter shattering you in the process so for every negative thing u hear or see write a positive thing and take the negative and swap it with a positive and shove it in that bottle then deep down where that bottle is a whole lot of amazing things about u!!!

sorry if that was boring or lame but i think she needs someone to open up to!!

[Random_Stranger]

Oh this person is a female????? Noooooooooooo wonder! Yeah I can't offer much help then. I don't know of womenly things or chemicals that go throughout the brain and body. Trust me, they are much different than in men. Much different. I can offer advice if you need it, not sure how much it will help you kiddo, but things will get better, just do not make them worse by giving into it and using it as an excuse to F things up.

No biting, don't clinch, Keep your hands up, stop after the bell, don't hit below the waist and have a nice clean fight.

This post has been edited by Random_Stranger: Nov 13, 2008 - 1:49 AM