Starting Over Again......., Kind of hard to admit this stuff, but I ask for advice Options

[Random_Stranger]

Okay, need both the advice from a woman's perspective and men who know how to talk to girls (obviously I am tired of being shy and ready to get back out there). So I am over this whole "Ex" thing now and ready to get back out there. Naturally I am not too too aggressive, but aggressive is necessary in my city as women are not likely to just walk up and talk to you.

So I want some advice on etiquette. Is it okay to ask a chick out who you just met for the first time, let's say if you show up at her work? For instance....

Just tonight coming back from Tuner Tuesdays, I stopped off at a store to get some smokes. A girl about my age asked if I needed help. So I asked for the smokes, showed ID. Then she is like "So how are you doing tonight?" and I was like "Good" then I paused thinking "Why would she even bother talking to me? No one really does that they just ring you up and send your happy ass on your way". I am not the kind to take kindness for general interest, yet I was curious to pursue because she was pretty and had a Fat Booty (which I admit I like that* Here is where you laugh). So I asked her "How is your day?" and she was like "Good actually, and I get off work here in a bit so that is even better" and I was like "Yeah, that is good". Then she was like "Well you take care" and I said "you too" and left.

Now, normally this really doesn't happen to me. The only time it does is when I make eye contact with a girl and she smiles a lot and then we end up talking a bit before I leave. So I dunno how to read women. Was a situation like that just out of kindness? I mean, me personally, would strike up conversations with "regulars" be it man or woman, and if a girl caught my eye, then I try to talk to them. So would a woman operate the same way?

I am lost. It has been awhile (like a few years) since I have started dating (I mean seriously, not just having booty calls here and there from chicks a lil lower than your standards). Looking for something around my level (not saying that I am all that either though). I know this is a stupid thread, but I dunno who else to turn to and it is starting to be kind of a big deal for me. I mean I am 26! I am still young, but this stuff I should have down already!

You guys wanna flame me it is cool, but like I said, I really ask your thoughts.

[95st-celica]

shes just doin her job...i wouldnt worry about her...look for someone else

[Random_Stranger]

shes just doin her job...i wouldnt worry about her...look for someone else

k thanks. no pointers? Is it okay to ask for someone's number first time you meet?

[soulshadow]

I'm Afraid here, we just talk mostly about our 6GC cars and give advice on that. If it was a 6GC, I would say " Yah that New Body Kit sure made her hotter" or "Man that new muffler sure made her ass stand out " and "Is it just me? or did the Le-Bra make her headlights bigger?"

Love comes and goes. I've seen some old farts marrying some young tarts just because of the financial situations and I mean a 40+ married to a 17.
Dam makes me jealous. Ask for her # the first time? If she really likes you she will be asking for your number. These days a lot of girls are materialistic, gold diggers and only hang around popular people. If your desperate and feel lonely or just need somone to hug you and hold your hand because you feel insecure I would suggest you to go to a strip club. At least the girls there will respect you® {money} and dance around you. They always smile, and will do anything to take you® {money}.

Sorry I just had to say it.
but next time roll up to the gas station in a Benz and buy some smoke, the conversation will suddenly change to "Can I go for a ride in your car?"

[OregonBoy]

shes just doin her job...i wouldnt worry about her...look for someone else

k thanks. no pointers? Is it okay to ask for someone's number first time you meet?

Yes everything is ok man. If you felt that she was kinda flirting with you than go for it. Whats the worst that can happen? Dont use pick up lines. DONT use pick up lines.

I'm Afraid here, we just talk mostly about our 6GC cars and give advice on that. If it was a 6GC, I would say " Yah that New Body Kit sure made her hotter" or "Man that new muffler sure made her ass stand out " and "Is it just me? or did the Le-Bra make her headlights bigger?"

Love comes and goes. I've seen some old farts marrying some young tarts just because of the financial situations and I mean a 40+ married to a 17.
Dam makes me jealous. Ask for her # the first time? If she really likes you she will be asking for your number. These days a lot of girls are materialistic, gold diggers and only hang around popular people. If your desperate and feel lonely or just need somone to hug you and hold your hand because you feel insecure I would suggest you to go to a strip club. At least the girls there will respect you® {money} and dance around you. They always smile, and will do anything to take you® {money}.

Sorry I just had to say it.
but next time roll up to the gas station in a Benz and buy some smoke, the conversation will suddenly change to "Can I go for a ride in your car?"

haha not all girls are golddiggers. Im more broke than my car and my girl and i are happily in love.

[TRD_Ian]

dude just go for it, swing for the frigin fences man, its how i work....be confident when your talking to them also, go back some time and if u come across her again strike up a convo, don't be a creeper about it just play it cool, then play off of that, usualy i go with, some thing along the lines, you have very kind eyes and a warm smile, drop a line like that after u make em laugh make eye contact and say some thing nice, ask her if you could treat her to a coffee or some thing along thos lines. and for god sakes dont use stupid lines man, you strike me as some one who knows better but if not dont drop " those are nice legs when do they open or any other pigish remarks, be urself and be confident, it works.
i know cause it works for me, and im an over weight hillbilly, and i do fine around women, it took a while to get use to talkin to em but its easy as pie now, any who good luck and cheers, p.s if all else fails offer her a drive in ur sweet ride, chicks love our cars

[whatthe]

If uve seen sex drive do what the duo guys do in the eclipse. "Heard of a motel?", "Yehh", "Heard of a bed?" "Yehh", "Wanna get in one?" ...... (something along the lines of that) Ahhh that movie cracks me up hard.

[Random_Stranger]

If uve seen sex drive do what the duo guys do in the eclipse. "Heard of a motel?", "Yehh", "Heard of a bed?" "Yehh", "Wanna get in one?" ...... (something along the lines of that) Ahhh that movie cracks me up hard.

LOL


Thanks guys I appreciate the help. It has been awhile and before it wasn't a problem, but it is time to get back out there. I mean my ex moved on, so should I. I have noticed in person I do a whole lot better as people have always told me I look better in person than in photos (which I do agree), plus people get to see your personality as well. I guess if we are brave, we are rewarded for our courage. Failure is the price for an education anyways.


I kind of feel stupid posting this thread, but luckily I feel comfortable and honest enough with myself to understand that I really seek some answer or just words regarding such issues.

[Supersprynt]

shes just doin her job...i wouldnt worry about her...look for someone else

k thanks. no pointers? Is it okay to ask for someone's number first time you meet?

It should be done the first time you meet, it will identify yourself as an interested party and set the tone for your next meeting. Not doing it will start down the path to the friend zone.

[Random_Stranger]

shes just doin her job...i wouldnt worry about her...look for someone else

k thanks. no pointers? Is it okay to ask for someone's number first time you meet?

It should be done the first time you meet, it will identify yourself as an interested party and set the tone for your next meeting. Not doing it will start down the path to the friend zone.

So even if people try to tell you that you come off too aggressive, we should say "Ugh yeah! That's what men do!" and just keep it up then? Because I get told that a lot by my cousin. But then again, I think that is how it needs to be, a woman is not really going to walk up and talk to a guy and when it happens to me, I end up getting the psycho chicks. Sometimes they are psycho nympho, which sounds not so bad for the second part, but it turns bad because they are major psychos.

[Supersprynt]

Asking for a number isn't aggressive in itself. It's also not asking someone out - it's just creating a possibility.

I wouldn't be asking for a number within the first few minutes of meeting someone, and a cashier would probably require a couple more visits. For instance, I was at a bar and ended up talking to this girl and she was cute and funny so within the first few minutes I knew I wanted her number, but I took the conversation as far as it allowed (which is when her bf took her away) before asking for her number. Asking to soon may make you seem to aggressive or desperate.

This post has been edited by Supersprynt: Jan 14, 2009 - 11:34 AM

[richee3]

Everyone here has got some really good advice for you, so I'm sure mine won't be that good. All I can say is, go out of your way to go by that gas station a little more often. Just keep making small talk with her every chance you get. Maybe she's already got a boyfriend and she was just doing her job. Maybe not. But no matter what happens, it will be a good warm-up to get you ready and confident and get back out there. For every ten no's you get, there's got to be one yes. Here's another good thing for you... In the conversations I've had with you, it didn't take very long for me to find out that you are good with words. Seems like most girls are after the bad guys, but if you give the right girl a compliment, she'll notice you. I would say don't even bother with the girls that want the bad guys. Odds are they've got the herp anyway. Just be patient and let them know that you are a nice guy, and eventually the girls will find you. Trust me on that. That's how it happened with me and all of my friends. I just walked into a Dairy Queen one night, next thing you know Tyler and I are texting each other until 2 in the morning, going to lunch together a couple of days later (she even took me- I didn't have a car at the time.) Now here we are, and neither of us could even think about being with anybody else. Just be patient and let girls know you are there, and everything will work out.

[Random_Stranger]

Asking for a number isn't aggressive in itself. It's also not asking someone out - it's just creating a possibility.

I wouldn't be asking for a number within the first few minutes of meeting someone, and a cashier would probably require a couple more visits. For instance, I was at a bar and ended up talking to this girl and she was cute and funny so within the first few minutes I knew I wanted her number, but I took the conversation as far as it allowed (which is when her bf took her away) before asking for her number. Asking to soon may make you seem to aggressive or desperate.

Yeah see, this incident with this chick. She was a cashier. Normally they just ring you up and send you on your way, but she seemed to kind of strike up a conversation. Plus she told me personal information (That she was getting off soon), which came off to me as if she might be interested. Normally I am the kind of guy who cannot pick up on subtle hints a woman may give, so I was just wondering if I should just make sure to make more visits there and see if we can talk a bit more and then make my move.

I was hoping you would give advice amongst everyone else, for the simple fact that I know you got that "Magic", and I also know you have good insight on things. You are also brutally honest which is a good trait of a true friend which is why I respect you in more ways than one.

Everyone here has got some really good advice for you, so I'm sure mine won't be that good. All I can say is, go out of your way to go by that gas station a little more often. Just keep making small talk with her every chance you get. Maybe she's already got a boyfriend and she was just doing her job. Maybe not. But no matter what happens, it will be a good warm-up to get you ready and confident and get back out there. For every ten no's you get, there's got to be one yes. Here's another good thing for you... In the conversations I've had with you, it didn't take very long for me to find out that you are good with words. Seems like most girls are after the bad guys, but if you give the right girl a compliment, she'll notice you. I would say don't even bother with the girls that want the bad guys. Odds are they've got the herp anyway. Just be patient and let them know that you are a nice guy, and eventually the girls will find you. Trust me on that. That's how it happened with me and all of my friends. I just walked into a Dairy Queen one night, next thing you know Tyler and I are texting each other until 2 in the morning, going to lunch together a couple of days later (she even took me- I didn't have a car at the time.) Now here we are, and neither of us could even think about being with anybody else. Just be patient and let girls know you are there, and everything will work out.

Awe, Daniel. You're advice is always welcomed man. You are a good guy and always look forward to what you have to say. But you are right my friend. Ok, I guess I will get back out there and make things happen. I mean failure leads to success, because it has to. If in fact our success at times has lead to failure. Great! This is what I needed. Thanks guys.

[808celica]

Faust you Pinoy man you supposed to have the touch

aye Pare!!! jus no make like dat like dat

[Random_Stranger]

Faust you Pinoy man you supposed to have the touch

aye Pare!!! jus no make like dat like dat

LOL Jon!

[808celica]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_d8e9mTeZs

[Random_Stranger]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_d8e9mTeZs

LOL That guy is funny! Isn't he from Hawaii?

[forkee]

I wouldnt read too much into the conversation. It was just small talk and its not like she was asking you what you were gonna do later. she just sounded either bored or tired of working that day and couldnt wait to get off. a lot of times, striking meaningless conversations with people makes the time go by faster. it also thins the air if its awkwardly quiet for no reason.

what you should do next time to get a better idea of whether or not she is into you is to continue the conversation and have her say more

her - "Good actually, and I get off work here in a bit so that is even better"

"Yeah, that is good".

then you can either ask

-- "but why stop the fun youre having here?" (sarcasm, use only if you think theyre that type of person)
-- "long day?" (safe question that just allows them to talk freely)
-- "you going to go home and relax?" (an ok question but predisposes an idea that doesn't include you unless youre really that lucky)
-- "were you going to go out and see a movie or something? (takes some guts, allows you to talk about a movie or restaurant you like or want to check out and if they havent gone, maybe you can take them) ex. "well actually im not doing anything tonight but i really wanted to check out ______ because ive heard it was really good. if you don't have anything planned, would you be interested in joining me tonight?"
-- "sounds good. is your boyfriend taking you somewhere special tonight?" (really ballsy if you think about it, but if said calmly, comes out smooth like normal conversation. it also flat out asks if they have a significant other, great if you want to know right away so you dont have to waste anymore of anyone's time.)

[MaskedMan]

First off, I would like to say congrats on getting over the EX. It can be hard sometimes, but the best thing you can do is move on and life the rest of your life.

Ray just gave some good examples up there. Replying with an open ended question is always good if you want to keep the conversation going. Asking for a number is perfectly fine, but you can't ask for it right off the bat. There are a few requirements before you can ask for a girls' phone number.

First of all, after you get the conversation started (which you seem capable of doing), you'll need to at least carry on the conversation for about 10-15 minutes (but don't drag it out, if you feel the convo begin to end, then make sure that YOU end it). Look for signs of interest, this can be eye contact, smiling, etc. Sometimes it can just be because it's their job, but oh well. Before you ask for their number, you should at least have exchanged names by then. If not, they will feel like they don't know you well enough. It is okay to ask for a girls' number if she has a bf, however, I personally do not appreciate guys who go after girls who are already taken, but it's your call. You should ask for her number by inviting her to an upcoming event. Example, "Hey my friends and I are having a party this Sunday, you should stop by" At this point you hand her your phone and ask her to put her number in it. Ok, not really ask, but say, "here put your number in it". Then you can follow up with ok here I'll call you right now so you get my number too (this is really just to check that she gave you a REAL number hahaha). And make sure to stay in control and alert. You say that you come off as aggresive, sometimes it works well, but there are different types of aggressive. There's the type that shows you are in control and confident, and there is the type that shows you are desperate. You want to avoid coming off as the latter haha.

But with all that aside, I would like to say that out of all people, I'm surprised that you are making a thread asking for girl advice. Jeff told me that you were a super ladies man!

[Jeunesse]

I didn't read all the long post but this is all I have to say, and I'll say it again just like what I said to joehernandez(I think that's him who created that post regarding his bestfriend and are now dating because of a fish)... IF YOU WANT IT GO AND GET IT!!!!